The Kon-Tiki blog

Surya ki -- the latest venture -- my finest yet!

2009-06-24T03:30:00.000-07:00

Surya ki antim kiran se Surya ki pehli kiran tak

for ppl who are interested in the play--
the 70 odd yr old senate guy with all the machinations !! .. thats moi !! and that tuff !!
after two and a hlf yrs .. hope i havent lost the tusch !! ( thats delib!! ;) )
cheerios and do come watch @ http://www.naatak.com/currentevent.html

Been a long time (2)

2009-06-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

Life has a strange way of familiarizing itself with the self . It can take a tiny gesture from a stranger or the discolored leaf falling from the tree overlooking your garden.
That’s when life says “hello, where have you been?”
In the eyes of your father when he punished you and the repentance dripped from his eyes and was reflected in yours.
In the eyes of your mother when she sold her jewelry to save your school year.
Guilt or payback when you handed in your report card

Too many things have passed and things have become blurred or clearer.
I donot know.
It’s been a long while
Maybe its time to turn on the defogger and look at things in the rear view mirror …

Yes

Once in the aeon
Of times long past
Thus scribed the ghost
There was love

When Adam chose Eve
And Eve chose Adam
For her sin
For their sin
There was love

Much too late there were
Encumbrances and relationships
Twitter and face-booked
Lined and ready
Primed and kleened
Sandstone changing color

The madness of life encountered
In a multitude of colors
Red and green and blue for good measure
Swirling clouds of grey and black
The mind spoke many languages
And you translated them into lime
And betel nut and the colored spit leaves

In my dreams there bespoke
Two lights and a dream
Lots of fine silk and a wavy
Dream
In my breath there was a silhouette
Of a wolf
Preying on a weak mind
Yes feed feed feed

kahaan se kahaan tak

2009-05-31T04:46:00.000-07:00

तू तो हर लम्हा यदून में
ouch baby very ouch
the M.matya protests. raag bhopali mein protest !! loud !!
tis the day of the suryast.. the day..thank goodness the sun is partially visible
it takes an immense effort of will to evocate what needs to be said
" the region needs to prepare for war "
and on what basis do I the mmatya proceed to issue such orders ?
the MBaladhikrit just does what he is told , being a buddy of Okkak . he preps the sena ... Angarag must be had ..Alive ... these are Okkak's orders

today i feel Confused!

सूर्य की अन्तिम किरण से सूर्य की पहली किरण तक -- The M.Matya Chronicles

2009-05-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

An hour before I am scheduled to leave for the rehearsal i do this

I blow my breath over the frosty windows and etch His name on it and wipe it over
I Almost don't ... make another excuse .. but no this time it will be fatal. I must talk to the M. BaladhiKrit and the R.Purohit before we go and confront M.Okkak again. This time we must succeed . It is the only way.. the Book says it and it must be ..no has to be this way .. the Queen will have no choice but to agree with us. M.Baladhikrit's spies have just informed us that Angaraag , Okkak's son and sole heir has rebelled and established a parallel government.

The Bloody rebels... Collecting taxes from the poor junta inspite of the famine ... taxes that justly belong in Okkak's coffers. Angaraag has crossed a line this time ... Okkak has never truly loved him as his own .. WHY should he ? the Q dotes on him but i knew better the first time i saw him , bloodied , kicking and , screaming as he came into this world .. that infernal mark right in the palm of his hand.. I asked the R.Purohit to immediately find its significance according to the scriptures. I knew the answer even before the R.Purohit told me ...

Though I am feeble in my bones now i can sure as death feel the impending doom as it slowly creeps up my spine. The prediction is about to come true. All the structure that we have strived so hard to create .. the grand edifice called Malla kingdom ... the tireless effort of generations will have to withstand the full force of the One-who-swallowed-the-eclipse. Once again it will be Okkak , much older now, much wiser , much stronger who will provide the backbone of this front ... Tch tch I am day dreaming , must be the gout and the cold in my bones .. I have to go and seek the other two's opinions about the new strategy or the Widow and the One-Who-Swallowed-the-eclipse will rule over our rusty remains.

पहचान ...

2006-06-01T06:14:00.000-07:00

पहचान
-------------------------

अपनी कई ,अपनी महबूबा
अपनी आशिक़ि अपना वजूद
अपना तोहफा,अपना कफ़न
अपना देश, अपना वतन

ओढ़नी में एक बच्चे की मौत
ओढ़नी में इक शादी का खौफ्फ़
ओढ़नी में एक वजूद की मौत
ओढ़नी में … मेरी मौत

झाँक कर देखो एक झलकी
ख्वाबों का एक सुर्ख झूला
गोलियों से रंगीन…. लाल
एक दो तीन .. चुनते हुए

गोलियां चुनती हुई
और उनके अफ़सोस का क्या
कहाँ तक जाएँगी
अगर कोई नहीं मिला तो

रंगीन गलियों का हिजाब
की टेहेलते हुए लम्हों का हिसाब
एक दो तीन कह कर ,निकल कर
खामोशी का हिसाब पूछ कर

गोलियाँ चीर कर कहती है
पूछती है क्या यह जान है
की अगर खून का हिसाब है
तो जांच कर लो, जांच कर लो

खून देख लो, मेरा खून देख लो
लाल है ,अगर नहीं है तो मुस्सल्मान होगा
अगर नहीं है तो हिंदू होगा
मगर जो भी है लाल होगा

बहता हुआ सरफिरों के सर से
इक अक्षर बनता हुआ
ॐ होगा ? मेरा नाम होगा ?
जूनून होगा ? मेरा देश होगा?

turning 30...

2006-05-26T04:44:00.000-07:00

There are different theories about getting old. One is that you start accepting things for what they are .. as in grey hair and wrinkles around. Just yesterday I was young.. And believe me… in thought !
And then I gave up..
I was at this friend’s place in Georgia and we were having a couple of beers and a discussion
A policeman walks in and is almost apologetic as he watches us… we don’t have guns…we don’t have dope…we just have a couple of beers. We are enjoying john fogerty’s “have you ever seen the rain? “ This guy almost requests me to hold my hands behind my head and wraps them up with tie wrap …the funniest thought resonates through my head as he ties orange colored fiber optic cables with a snap … I’m an orange fiber optic cable… if we are not the world that we define…or is defined to us .. What are we? I start to think what would life be if I were an orange cable?
Of course that is stupid and I cannot say it aloud cos it can only be construed as dope induced hallucination… cannot 1984 my thoughts now, though can I?

Of course that is stupid and I cannot say it aloud cos it can only be construed as dope induced hallucination… cannot 1984 my thoughts now, though can I?

I was talking about getting old now wasn’t I?
Decided to throw a stone “as far as we could get to ..types” …just to measure some semblance of strength in these aching bones.
I build up a mask … I want to go party
Lights on and off… in different colors… the great thing about parties …especially dark ones is that you only glimpse eyes
.. I mean minus the scantily clad bodies of course… the eyes…they shine through… like a thousand cats … and a thousand bulbs. It’s a party all right! Sometimes I wish Picasso had painted that …a thousand shining eyes in a party and had called it party… I would have paid for a pirated copy (Unto a 100 bucks …yes I have taste!) .. just for a lot of green lit bulbs  and nine lives for each … Oh what a web we weave , when we first try to deceive ..

So all of this was not in prison… some of it had been brewing for some time now … I decided I had reached a mid-life crisis when I decided to get a tattoo … there is a finality abt these things … like getting a tattoo … there’s not much you can do abt a decision like that except say “NO don’t do it, its permanent “.and that’s just reinforcement of why im doing it in the first place… So decisions can be funny except when you’re traveling. They take on different contexts.

You can tell I’m running away…cant you?
For rehab they showed us a movie marathon… born on the fourth of July and I saw that and I wanted to tell the stories that I knew… born on the 28th of august … born on the 21st of May …everyday a different battle .. not for a nation .. dulce et decorum est … but for me …selfishly enough for me

They showed us American history X for black history month… sometimes the angst is as great as the pain… and today I react with equanimity when yesterday it would have been all abt organizing pals and folks and get says and views and points of them and post them in scarlet and look for an anthem

There’s a subtle difference between the mega flood and the slow erosion…and it’s not just about the time … its about the sensitivity that’s associated with the act of bringing abt the change …
There’s a premium on human leadership …. Happiness in evolution is extinct, and to bring to it definition and method, is a challenging take … just cos of the mere fact that tomorrow I would want to remembered as a “” ( choice here)

There’s something special about turning thirty

There’s something special in the sense that you want to talk to everybody in your past
You exhume ghosts if you have to … you truly want to move on.
Yet you want to brush with the same toothbrush… in a sane world there are rare moments of insanity and let this be mine
Worn toothbrush with colors faded to medium and low.
Somebody asks me “Am I happy?”
And I truly cannot answer that … cos im confused
I do not know if im happy or im sad… these are the thirties moments when im trying to say grand things
And in all honesty ive never been as lost as im now
There are solid moments though when I won the drawing competition in school … there are moments of inspiration
There are moments of hope
The 30s are as confused as can be
There is an urge to listen to ballads/ to exercise/ to reduce cholsesterol/ to listen to baba ramdev / to do yoga
There are so many struggles in an empty home… and then there the M word 

I’m searching for a word for the past hour …
Yes its exquisite … the pain is exquisite
There is no other word to describe it …sometimes there is happiness in just describing pain …aimless pain… just dull
You know pointless dull pain… Exquisite is the word …

It’s been a loud day … getting arrested for no reason at all told me why life was beautiful … ESP when its free …when im free to make my own mistakes
To own them to adopt them to nurture them through the course of my life … like my own children … these are my mistakes.. There is some honor in repentance …when you give it a chance …when you give it a second life which answers “What if ?” And maybe all we look for is finality at 30 ..and resurrection
Like how could it be different ?
For the next 30 or so ?

Then there was the yoga guru or as I called him the the “Faker”
The Faker
The truth is that divinity will simply test your exhaustion. there has got to be another expln of sumfin w.r.t the whole
There is truth or in our modern times there is math … intuition well and truly is substituted by probability !
And there is finally a way to model uncertainity ~
Its called To be continued 

and hope … well!
“So long and thanks for all the fish!”

Mac wonders!

2006-04-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

Mac-kenna’s GaWW-ld-yawn headlines

How abt this for a “daily-cuppa-conspi-racy-theory” ?

“the “AlQ” have sponsored the recent Judas studies and the Dan Brown Myths .. “ …

You know who AlQ is of curse?
The alQ ..
The alQqwot?
The alQwhen?
And the alQhoe ? ( 40 of them !)

The access of eveel according to Mac expostulating on the theories of the unbound
The deveel had a new name in kolkatta …for you see the city had been Hyd (Haiyed…in suddern enuff contexts) … in ways more than one

Reee-Sir-vashya-yawn ( deja BOO!) … Mac found herself in “Dire straits” and gyrating to a pirated copy too …
Gosh this was too much… the Mac din’t stand a chawnce …even in sexy Scottish half –skirts ( accentuate the letter that u want)

Sir Sir ,,, it please-ded

50% istoo muchos duncha think ? ..
Aaargh …here we go again ..the national ins-tit-toot of the yeah-man-cippayshun

Mac thought that this sort of language was totally uncalled for and proceeded to
Talk to the ex-el-capitan seated next to her … for now you see … in the protocol of the
Celebs unknown .. the one “Later” is the celeb …and thus the Mac by sheer virtue of UN-punctuality
Deserved what she did … which is to say a sermon .. from the celeb called “Unknown”

“First.. things you need to know abt me “
Do you feel lucky .. ppp ,
And “Mr President , (twist and turn) .. !! ( ok ..exclamation!)

Conclusion being that Harrison ford was probably a “Supersizeme” Clint! … err

The Mac is finally home …she can see the meaning of dubbulspit letters where they are in-tern-ded.

….Billy Plays the piano like a carnival”

She can kill with a smile and she can wound
With her eyes ,
and she can ruin yer faith
with Her casual lies
And she only reveals
What she wants you to see
She Hides like a child
But she’s always THE woman to me….

This was the sound anthem of the carpet making industry that the Mac was witnessing and then the endless expanse that greeted her eyes … to “proverbially” roll and plunder … for the chicken had really GOT to cross the “whatever” …whatever the “whatever” was made of ! ..sigh…and armed with the CGTTs the answers suddenly became clear ….

First off Mac needed a haircut and a saffron overhaul… which is to say we were planning on being televised… televised and protesting …
/* deja-BOO --- also known as affectionate feelings for the “DCE…err of E”
As in the “Delhi college of E … err Engg” … for like most of us .. and Mac I presume in saying so … the sordid saga of having it “made”…, really ended with the entrance exam .. Mac distinctly remembers our Princi ( PeeBeySharma) mouthing something in Sanskrit ( just to drive in the fact that mebbe 15 mins more wasn’t sucha bad deal ) ..how abt "Loser schols" ? " */

And then Something inside of me snapped and the Mac said well “U chose it “ … and the Mac thot if it was a fair statement… and I think of the remainder of the song

She takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She’s ahead of her times
Awww she never gives out and
She never gives in
She JUST changes her mind …..

The Mac is still dealing with uncertainties …what if ? what if ???

http://kon-tiki.blogspot.com/2005/01/ouch-baby-very-ouch.html
http://kon-tiki.blogspot.com/2005/04/return-of-mac.html
http://kon-tiki.blogspot.com/2005/04/mac-and-catterpillahs.html
http://kon-tiki.blogspot.com/2005/05/mac-and-parallel-universes.html

ps --- prev edi-shuns! @

Hisaab

2006-03-11T04:49:00.000-08:00

मेरी मेहनत! :)
--------------

नहर एक गन्दी सी ,लहरती हुई
फिर भी साँस लेती हुई
बहकती हुई, की ज़हर है रगों में
रोति हुई , अपने ही गम को इकठ्ठा करती हुई
एक दिन , एक दिन अचानक
अपने आप से मुकरती हुई

एक फकीर बोला सुन, सुन एक बार फिर
एक ,दो फिर तीन गम का हिसाब
अपने ही गम में , शर्माते
अपने नसीब का हिजाब...

Kuch Pal

2006-03-07T04:08:00.000-08:00

कुछ पल
--------------

कुछ खामोश से तन्हाई के पल
कुछ अचम्भे में देखते हुए पल
कुछ शोर में खोए हुए पल
कुछ रग में दुखते हुए पल

यादों के दायरों में, पूछते
शर्माते हुए कुछ पल
कहीं दूर से, फिर अचानक!
दरवाज़े पर खटखटाते हुए पल

ऊंचाइयों से चौंधियाते हुए कुछ पल
आसमान को चूमते हुए कुछ पल
कुछ पल महकते हुए शबनम से
कुछ पल चमकते हुए आन्सुवों से

एक अनकही दास्तान के कुछ पल
कुछ जागते कुछ सोते हुए पल
कुछ सुलझाते कुछ इठलाते हुए पल
तेरी मेरी कहानी के यह पल

यह पल कुछ टकराते कुछ बेहेकते
कुछ तोड़ते कुछ जोड़ते हुए यह पल
श्रृंखलाओं की कड़ी यह पल
सम्भव असंभव कहते हुए यह पल

सचाई के, कुछ अभिनय के पल
झरनों से, नदियों से कुछ पल
पत्थर सी ज़िन्दगी से टकरा कर
सागर में बिखरते हुए कुछ पल

My maiden attempt at hindi poetry! :) inspired by my fellow poets at
http://www.dudseascrawls.com/

Do dissect ..for one i know it sounds too lyrical ! :(

Poetry in Hindi movies

2006-03-01T04:54:00.000-08:00

ladies and gentlemen! presumptious though it might be..
presenting Neeraj -- amazing poetry tuned to some great music

the popular choice

"Aaj madhosh hua jaye re"
"Kaise kahen hum"
"Khilte hain gul yahan"
"Megha chhaaye aadhi raat"
"Mera man tera pyaasa"
"Phoolon ke rang se"
"Rangeela re"

for convenience ... do whet your appetite at
http://www.musicindiaonline.com/l/17/s/lyrics.209/

Humm trumm

2006-01-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

Silence engulfed everything
I wanted to say, unkempt
Somethings I couldn’t file away
During the annual catharsis

Fish… assailing my senses
The scales ripped away ,the onions chopped
The garlic and the ginger
Laid away, neatly stood witness

Only once I looked back
“Objects in the rear view mirror”
Greeted me
And I said take me there again

I loved your hair
Black … like the darkest thunder
Falling over your face delicately
Like the morning dew drop that
Caressed, that ventured unto
That delicate landscape

I loved your eyes.. two black buttons
And yet you saw things out on a chilly fog
Shadows and ghosts that make you shiver
And I said “Oh no its just weariness”!

Like a schoolboy …spouting words of
Romance and equanimity ,one to impress you
And the rest for my friends.
Shall I water the stone ?

That spout I drink of today
I say ahem and hello
To my love and her hindsights
I say 20/20 you knew it all

I know this too .. you liked being sung to
Sleepy .. fairy tales of gremlins and goblins
And I sang that lullaby and wrestled those ghosts
I know love now... through these blind eyes

Thank you thank you
For being a part of me
And taking away some
My angel, Quo vadis ?

Vision

2005-12-28T05:04:00.000-08:00

Once, twice its beauty unfolds
The dark moment that chooses to live
Between my foul breath,eschews all laughter
Five virgins lay inwards

Each a parable, stoned and clad in stone
Marbled and cast in marble
Costly, yet desire seems to break free
Until desire has no price

Served in dual portions for contrast
Her life is black and white
A baby born and a child forfeited
One taken care of, one dreaming her life
For her

Living life inwards and inside out
Hair disheveled, and unkempt
A rolling head gathers no
Moss

Silent gravy .twirls in taste
Groans in the bedevilment of the soup
This is not the soul!
Protest, salty with the tears ..
Loses character

Detached like organs from my body
My lung breathes in tandem , searches for the other
my stomach groans for more ..greedy audience
The heart, that loads one breast more with the opus
Of the symphony its trying to sing

Sigh beautiful sigh your eyes!
Like algae growing on the wall
Like the lotus, that’s appreciated and devoured
One more day.. lived through the eyes of my,

Bete noire

PS- inspired by "jaanemann jaanemann tere do nayan" ...credit where its due :)

Kamayani

2005-12-14T12:45:00.000-08:00

Kamayani

Twice unfolded my life agape
Stared at the might of the
Conqueror who had yet to
Brush her teeth

Sighed in unison did her Fridays
In joyous reclamation of the week past
When,my love did you seek ?
a compromise for things that last ?

Vague!

2005-12-14T12:16:00.000-08:00

To each unto his own
There are times when I get tired of the schedule.. a green cactus to keep me company
I water it diligently thinking, too much of a good thing can’t be “that’ bad ..
There is a slight breeze flowing unknown to me ..it churns time , it churns the clouds in various colors, Im staring at the cactus …
Smoke drifts up and forms rings of its own volition. Each an existence beckons, teases and then disappears, no grand requiem , just a gentle floater ..wisps that are still playing mischief with the rays of the sun that are attempting to shine on the bright bright day I was promised.

“Verbal diarrhea “ , she grandly proclaimed, a flick of golden brown hair falling across the brow , and though the thought was nothing short of ..well .. the flick, it was imperious
As if to command and demand obeisance.
“I hear you’ve adopted a cactus” , she jeered
I said “….” Yes
“That’s fascinating , a cactus always reminds me of things bleary and dark , sort of like the low points in life “
It was implied of course and I drifted ..away from the spring,
for the dreary should not see too much of the spring .. it echoes ambition and that is intolerable in present circumstances.

Silence
Another day another night ..luminescent in the glow of reflected glory .. I have been at a book signing , and had my book signed..

Studied, measured indignance
Oh these people , when they smile at me its as if years of training are coming to the fore .. “smile child smile ..for it’s the shortest word that has a mile “  (for good measure)
The dew has settled on the thorns of the cactus. My little experiment has been successful.
Dew drops have formed on the harshest of all creatures .. on the thorns of a cactus ..

“I feel like doing something silly”, a call out of the blue
“now that is not advisable!”
“Do you always talk like this ? “ , she asked
“ No!”
“weeelll then lets have coffee” ,she said
“isn’t that silly ?”
“OF course with you it is “ ,she chirped

The higher intelligence
Today she permeates every being. Every thought echoes a ring ..today ..damnnit every cloud has a silver lining. The cactus is nervous , I can tell. The thorns are bristling.
Today the cactus has feet and is asserting her own
She wants out today and it has to be the same restaurant.
I cancel my appointment with her and humor the thornbird
Deliberately the mischiefs peer out of the circus of my life and shine ..Oh jesus they shine

Two timing bassy
My compulsions I cannot explain. It is perhaps not enough to have one after all ..simply said. There are times when you wonder “what if?”
I tried to live those and much to my dismay I did succeed sometimes. The cactus felt jealous and scratched me so as to leave permanent marks .. .this worked.. for scratches are the ultimate sign and cannot be overthrown by words ..even Shakespeare bowed to them .. scratches ..sigh
The cactus is turning red these days..slowly, shyly and bloodied, every drop a penance

The uncomfortable beverage

A sip .. luscious red lips caressing the edge of the coffee cup and swallowing every drop of the “elixir” that poured fortwith , “She does not drink coffee” , I thought , and now she is
Busy busy busy , irrigating herself with the concoction that is heady and fulfilling and liberating.
“Oh I just wanted to meet you “, the cactus turned white , with the tiniest shade of blue , I imagined,
“ oh yes it was good meeting you too ! “

The widowmaker
The left hand started throbbing . it was dull at first and then life threatening . I knew it at once . the clog that was the widowmaker .. and I felt strangely elated
“Tu mujhe jaan se bhi pyaara hai” remixed and deadened beyond words and music.
Im trying to fit in the trance mood..really ..I’m trying
But did I mention I wear my heart on my sleeve.. What a voice ? gosh already in love ?
The widowmaker has a taker …”hahahahahaha”
“an undertaker , you mean!”
The dull throbbing echoed a strange rhythm.. one of life ..pulsing slowly..how gauche!
And the pain …well ..Something’s are better left unsaid

The registered letter
The pension has proved to be an elusive beast. Something that Mr. raji cannot fix inspite of being in the service. He says ,”Doctor lots of people have grudges against you !”
The man of the moment, the messenger , and if there was an apt moment ever to shoot him, it was this and I did .. a crime of passion , a crime of incomprehensible cruelty. I shot the postman!

Singers/Songwriters link

2005-09-26T03:51:00.000-07:00

Here is an excellent post i came across
Some of my favorite singers/songwriters...
although some are conspicuous by their absence
Neil diamond/Roger waters/bernie taupin/John fogerty et all
However some good reading about the singers songwriters can be found at
Singers/Songwriters!

The above site I came across while i was going through
My friend's site
For movie/literature buffs and for math buffs the link above is a very pleasant site to visit :)

Foreplay !

2005-09-26T03:49:00.000-07:00

The naughty face, in entirety
Shy brown eyes, entreaty!
Judge me lightly not
Ask and then retreat... in mystery

Let me be the morning dawn
Let me be the morning sunshine
Through the calligraphy that stains
Your face, your morn

In stealth and in the myriad hues
That I see you through
Clinks and then falls into place
In pain and in the moment blue

My life paints you in many colors
A photograph, a salvation
A lacerated sacrilege...carefully kept
In shame and in honor

The leaves of the book that breathe
With the leaf that was carefully smothered
In drops of dew, in drops of rain
It chose to live, it chose to dread

Ghosts are but playful except
Playful, Oh let it pass
The ones in the present, mirthful
Grab, touch and then trespass

Lightly the hair falls over the ears
A weak man requests thus, Do not
Look at me like this, for mishap
Has but resulted in untimely fashion!!

The game

2005-09-26T03:45:00.000-07:00

Baseball throws it back
In ways that spit that spew
The league in all your merry
Many many returns of the cherry

Honest to the point of absolution
One point seeks my definition
That One , you did not allow me
For in the mayhem there was dilution

One part truth another part louvre
One clinical another debonair
One geometric another scaled
One harnessed another baled

Comparison

2005-09-03T05:36:00.000-07:00

In the days gone I say
Harmansukh bellowed and bled
For the love of his life with two
Cham chams and a simla sled

The mall was forever pretty
The mall was forever shorn
The mall was forever red
And the mall was forever torn

Between brothers whose blood
Was green and still blushed
In colors unknown and hushed
A metallic conversation thus

A smoking revolver and a shining gun
Which is the better is the thought
When you have the riches and when I have naught
Its all fair and so its all fun

Harmansukh harmansukh cried fraught
In times strain and in times distraught
What was to be the plight of “he”
Spoke thus the powers that be

Crossed betwixt brothers cross
Frayed till that which tied them
Came to naught
And yet dominated thoughts
Of gasoline, of food and of water
Of profit and of loss

Harmansukh my brother
A humble pardon for this
Tyranny I offer and the sky
Is shamed..ahh fraternity

All sins are forgiven and all wounds
Forgotten. The night gives way..
The blood still spews and hunger
gawks and spits out ulcers

The two halves

2005-09-03T05:35:00.000-07:00

The one that I live in
The one that I dream in
The one that I live for
The one that I dream of

The one that shows and titillates
The one that taunts and abdicates
The one that knows and dictates
The one that prowls and taunts

The one that speaks in slow verses
The one that shouts in loud monologues
The one that stutters and reverses
The one that destroys all demagogues.

REVENGE

2005-08-24T04:13:00.000-07:00

The lone streetlamp cast a long shadow onto the street as if trying to bridge across to the other side of the road. The individual, whose projection was so laid out, that cars ran over it and unknowing passer-bys walked over it, with little contrition, stood with his collar folded up and breathed out little wisps of warm breath, undecided.

At length, however he seemed to make up his mind and walked purposefully across the street to the door that had been left partially open. He strode through it and took the flight of stairs to the house numbered H 161. Having crossed the threshold, rashly, as an afterthought, the moment was frivolous, almost, considering the deep perturbation of a minute ago, he stood there, undecided.

It was strange, he was feeling liberated, somehow. The door almost had an inviting look but animated voices from inside made him stop. He fidgeted around in his overcoat pocket, adjusted the revolver and gave in to the hesitation. He looked above at the corridor lamp and saw that it needed replacing. He smiled to himself.

“He just smiled, man! That man has guts... if any are left”, the blackguard sniggered.

“Of course! You think seventeen years in prison won’t do that to a man”, the bartender chided him.
“They gutted him and left him to die, the warden waited for him to bleed to death. He just would not go... little, caked spots of blood were drying on his shirt and the large pool growing ever larger when they picked him up”
“Kismet yaar! Jaako raakhe saiiyan mar sake na koi, I’m telling you”, the blackguard swigged his last drop.

They did not realize of course that they were talking about him, hunched over his pint of beer, sitting alone on a table. He smiled to himself, thinking “He wasn’t even there”, feeling the scar along his abdomen...

“Chaukaaa!! Yaaaay!” ”What a shot!" “What happened what happened? Did somebody get out? ” “You shut up!” Inadvertently, almost he found himself with an ear on the door, straining to catch every word spoken inside the house, listening for that one voice.
He checked himself, took the revolver out, released the catch, released the magazine, made sure it was empty and replaced it in one long deliberate motion, to remind himself...

He began chopping down the wood in a series of long swooping motions. The tree was failing...it had failed... there were no more secrets in its hollow… the idea had seemed romantic to her at first , exchanging messages ,notes in the little hollow that only the two of them knew about ..And then it grew into this obsession. Throwing all care to the wind they would come to the tree a half an hour apart and then read each other’s messages for the day … until the day there was the message that signaled a finality no amount of entreaty could overcome.. He got an axe and chopped away at it, till it fell...

He raised the revolver... looked through the trigger hairs and pointed at the blank wall...tried to focus on a point on the wall... his mind automatically focusing him onto a point that was the target...he rubbed his eyes…did not see a point... he saw a white wall... he looked franctically for a point, for a target, he could not find one. So he decided to kill them all. “Dhichkiyaun dhichkiyaun”...is this the sound the revolver actually makes in slow motion or it would be more like “Dhish-udh”...he thought carefully about this, for he did not actually shoot … “arre shit! Out ho gaya, LBW” silence ...”What shit man … they can’t do it “, “Youre always like this man!” “ Kya matlab ?? ” “Matlab tu Saale hamesha se aisa hi hai!” “What do you mean? ” “ abbey abhi support karne ka time hai , tujhe sutta marna hai to mar le .. But excuse marke mat ja..chor!” , “Tu chor ! yaar”
“kitta score hua ?” , His revolver has dropped and is pointing at the ground , no longer at the wall anymore.. he strains to listen...

“You referred him ! and this is the biggest chit fund project that we have ever defaulted on. They are baying for somebody’s blood and it better be yours “ , the manager said
“Sir he did not do anything wrong, I am sure”
“You did then and I am not paying for that” , he said
“you should keep your love affairs out of this office ..considering that now you have a kid also.. I don’t know how you could ask your lover to come and work in this office” , the blackguard said
He stood outside , unsure , at a safe distance to make sure he was not eavesdropping as he heard… anger, frustration and then strangely enough …guilt.
Guilt ..for him ..for something he had not done.. what was it he felt ?
Love …
Frustration …
Loyalty
Guilt…yes ..guilt ..for something he had not done. He walked away.
He was arrested soon after. The offense ,considering the weak nature of their case made a strident plea ,for the maximum possible sentence , showing pictures of lives he had not seen or touched ,except that of his fame, making them rich on fabricated stories..., Ahh the irony!. There were no tearful dissensions from her … there was .. in fact nothing ..she was busy building a life..
A cloud appeared on the horizon, colored purple and with vibrant dashes of gold, reminding him of the flower that was not to be touched, for it was poisonous. The colors were but an allure , a temptation ..for it would kill him to touch that flower…. He chose .. He chose to walk into that horizon.. into the dark
And then emerge seventeen years later …

“arreee saala too much yaar fifty two runs off 48 deliveries”, “At least they are in it !” “Papa can we change the channel ,please?” “Nahin you go off and sleep , you have your GK quiz tomorrow, papa will we watch the match to the end? ” ”I’m going home man! .nahin sahi mein I got work tomorrow. I think they will lose anyways”
“ accha theek hai , I will see you tomorrow”

He was shaken out of his reverie. The hair on his back bristled and small drops of perspiration were shaken out of his hair as he pretended to stand outside the door of H 162 very deliberately and as if waiting for a response to his doorbell ring.. The door opened nonchalantly and goodbyes spoken and closed with equal nonchalance. He knew however that he would look through the peephole as to who the stranger was. He pretended to ring the doorbell again and waited until the renewed noises from across the door seemed to echo distance.. just in case however he made the elaborate motion of walking away from the adjoining door and pretend to walk downstairs. After a suitable pause, He crept unto the door and stood with his ears pressed against it, sure that they were watching television. He strained and heard that twenty two runs were required off 15 balls .. no 16 balls ..the last one was a no ball.. he thought about that .. for a second and felt sure that they would win .. almost against despair the revolver wiggled and made its presence felt .. he ignored it .. and pressed his ears against the door …straining to hear every word that was spoken out of the idiot box and he heard “out “ ”nahin six” ”maybe””yaaaaaaY””six”

He heard faint echoes … amongst the news that now only two runs were needed of five balls ..he was hopeful again ..he wiped the perspiration of his brow and looked up at the corridor lamp …suddenly everything was brighter! .. Over ! ….

He will not survive … well he has so far hasn’t he ? ..we need blood .. urgently !
Thank God ! she knows him too! what chance!
Faces ..scared and hopeful drifted past him and still he recognized one .. one that lay next to him with a drip in her hand .. he did recognize her..a lifegiver

“Rukawat ke liye khed hai!”
“Sorry for the interruption”
“We regret to inform that a particularly dangerous criminal has escaped from a transfer vehicle. He may be armed and dangerous. We recommend that citizens observe adequate precautions and close their doors and windows and inform the police at the slightest hint of suspicious activity”
For that inescapable moment the door seemed to disappear and he felt like he had just stepped out of the television screen. There was silence for a moment. And then …
The voice he had been listening for.. “Come have food …dinner is ready !” and then silence again …

He wanted revenge … long and steady and painful ..no excuses.. he wanted revenge..
He waited until the thrill of having won for the moment had passed and an hour later he heard muffled voices and sobs..

“ I turned him into this monster “ she sobbed,
“you paid back” , he said sternly
“I bet you will not recognize my photo after seventeen years” , he cribbed
She did not say anything ..just silence ..
“Waah they actually won! “ the news bar just read it “ , ecstatic he said

He heaved a sense of relief .. his boundaries seemed to be defined again .. he smiled to himself.. “They won!, Wow!”
“Okay ! let me put the kachra outside!” , she said
“Replay” , he heard and without thinking ,he put his eye to the peephole so that he could look at the winning shot on television.
“its dark”, she thought “and the corridor light is dim, let me look out of the peephole”
He fidgeted , he pummeled , and he looked for his revolver .. nowhere to be found and so .. this was the primal moment !!

Love at first sight…again
REVENGE…pure and simple ..
he smiled to himself and drifted..

She thought she had seen a ghost.. a familiar ghost
and she strained to listen and look
The shadows along the street seemed to grow longer and the streetlamp shut down on the retreating figure.

Ponder

2005-08-11T02:15:00.000-07:00

Ponder

Exempt said the wheels of time
Master I beg for salvation
Tied up in ropes unknown
Hence forth called tradition

The soul looks inwards
In between the throbbing veins
And the sulking emotion
Pretends and then thwarts

Any attempt to hold it responsible
For the present state of the cactus
Arid, dry and yet bountiful
Walking walking on dry sand

Scorched tormented Om shanti Om
Hallowed be thine Nome
Look if you must at this
Shining spectacle of bliss

For the meek shall inherit
The earth and its bountiful spread
And then what... will we live
Happily ever after??

Swabhimaan

2005-07-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

She made her presence felt today
Along the crack that threatens
Arangetram, the moss comes out
Does her first dance today

Footsteps that come out of the dark
Silent, purposeful only to walk away
The anticipation or the farewell
Kept me awake many a night today

In a blink the wall is all green
A mural, a silent testimony
To the years that have passed
In toil, in pain and in slumber

I sit in the dark, ruminating over what I have just seen. I decide to (write a) blog. It’s not going to be pleasant. I’ve seen a very disturbing movie... I’ve seen Matrubhoomi...

I’m really quick at fixing responsibilities... usually...
For an hour and a half I’m unable to write anything...Im even unable to decide the structure of the “review” I’m going to write. This sort of a movie leaves you so unsettled that you question the very basis of “life”
Was I by choice or was I coerced into existence?
I’ll never know…
As the years that have passed have changed the equation forever... forever rendering the potency of a man to the status of a screwdriver or a tool that is needed to get the job done or more fearfully so into one of blighted force … instead of co-op
The kaleidoscope is displaying its myriad hues as I turn around for the battle …..
I settle for a smoke and by the light of the screen as the smoke is conveniently dispatched to the corners of the room a question forms itself.
What did Manish Jha REALLY want to talk about?

The honest (and easiest) answer is I don’t know. However I did watch the movie intensely, and at different stages I formed different opinions and when I pressed “off “on the remote I was confused ...was that perhaps the original idea?

First the structure of the movie... a story it is not... a description of a society… it very well might be
And if parallels really insist upon testimony, then “Nishant” was a story.
For those who have watched the movie it is an intense statement on the society of its times... more scathing than any statement about a “yet to be born” society aided by a “2URDE4CE” (tour-de-force) performance by Shabana Azmi... (I really had to interpret that no. plate)
Lest I trivialize, there are two scenes that stand out in my mind... in nishant I mean

Shabana azmi lies on the ground, having been physically overpowered by three men , in a yellow sari , and the moment is one of extreme poignancy , one where when the mind capitulates under repeated assaults, and a few frames later, she calls out to the domestic help as if the house were her own.. She asks, even nags for a kitchen of her own... sanity in an insane world

And the other, where the villagers commune under one rash action by the village-teacher to give the zamindars the boot... Naseeruddin shah looks for Shabana azmi “first” and then Smita Patil...the moment of death and the choice of the place is weird though …Sham Bengal chose a staid rock under whose backdrop the two lovers choose to die... not a rock for their love/affection/infatuation was anything but …

Contrast matrubhoomi --- where the subject is female infanticide... remotely related to the movie I am talking about... however it is definitely about redefinition... of one world into another.
And the vehicle that the author chooses is not one of subtlety where the idea haunts the viewer...instead the weak cast seeks subterfuge in repetition... until a concept is ( for the lack of a better word) hammered in …she is raped …she is raped …she is raped …multiple times..(Thank god for redundancy)
Here in my mind is a perfect example of a “can/can’t do “being sacrificed for the greater cause... For Mr. Jha when you depict a scene like that for public viewing, you cannot run away ...” I cannot be caught up in the details” cannot be an excuse…for no matter how uncomforting it is...each violation, EVERYTIME ,has a different connotation for the victim. Though her frightened eyes ask the same question every time...you cannot hide behind the same answer … namely circumstance.

Matrubhoomi fails in making you think about why… instead it succeeds in making you think about what if ?.. No matter how rhetorical the question might seem
For however logical the movie might seem, it fails in its primary purpose…
It assumes that man is beyond redemption... it fails the simple test of causality
It fails the viewer...
It seeks to burden him/her with a share of the guilt that is not adequately shared. Though I am one for noble ambition, am not one for perjury.

And maybe my limited knowledge obfuscates me

Maybe it blinds me to the many truths that women face everyday and the multitude blurs the face that spurs me to action, my mother my sister my lover

It does not blind me from the sense of judgment that I am pronounced to... my responsibility …and therein I hope Im one of MANY
And to that end I say

Hope while we missed it
Instead of the lines in green
Envy/ravage you say?
Beauty/damage I say

In damnation I find true blue
The colors that seek and
The colors that flew
I seek my colors true
And I for one refuse to give up on that.

.wither??? Said the “war of the words”?

PS - Tulip joshi is a gutsy woman(IMHO) for having agreed in the first place... for that , kudos.. if she has any sensitivity that I credit women with ..she took it out of a sense of responsibility over everything else..
and That demands commendation and every measure of international acclaim that the movie is receiving.
PPS - being the anarchist that I am i do hope the movie reaches your shores and does Disturb you ..it antagonises you, it insults you ..and maybe then..
there is hope for a common consensus

Breasts

2005-07-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

I’ve always been fixated on breasts .. And breasts onto me ..Symbiosis has been a rather large part of my life.
“Be careful” , screamed a rather innocent looking headline
Sender – Srinivas road pulipati
Recipient – Doha
I wish i could italicise the thousand emotions ...
and speak the thousand lives this woman was in one
Happens to all of us ..Especially me
Honestly the “ Everything you wanted to know about sex but were always afraid to ask” -
The theme should have been explored in the Indian context. Would have been a classic case of
“JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I HAD ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONS THEY CHANGED THE QUESTION PAPER “
However I digress .. By profession I am a trumpeter , a blow-Horner , a man with a mouth, full of gas if you will … many adjectives have been associated with me
I do the most solemn duty of all ..Blow it when it needs to be blown .. Not many people would exchange places with me ..And THAT I think makes me rather special ..

Nayna the cradle snatcher
It happened many moons ago .. I was comfortably perched atop my feathery, cloudy bed trying to take the whole wide world in one giant stare when another pair of eyes locked mine
From experience I could gather she was at least 42 hours older however she had me in a trance
Staring at me from the adjacent cradle ..asking me if there was another ? “Noo” , I helplessly stammered , She had me ..Then and there.. A complacent grin stroked her cheeks as she looked upwards and breathed peacefully.
She bawled her head off when they tried to pull her out of the cradle and they did.. And for three days she would not stop crying … the nurse had a bright idea .. Let’s take her amongst the other kids … I had not been adopted yet .. She immediately calmed down.
She knew me.. A tryst with destiny ..
And until they adopted me for the helper’s family, she would not budge from the nursing room
Both of us stared at each other wide eyed .. Each nursing a breast and content ..The predator and the preyed.
I have to be fair to them of course, they gave me all that could be asked for .. A fine education.. Even pretence of jealousy when I would top her.. In the exams ..The excuse being .. “Oh she did not really study “ …would drive me mad for almost weeks when she would just come upto me and parrot the same thing over and over again.. I remember what getting mad at her was like

Nayna Nayna Nayna Nayna
Who’s the taller bol na ?
Ahh yes the helper and his wife, in whose home I was fostered … every night a dream would come and haunt me …after I had shared the meager meal …after I had watched them go hungry for an illusion ..a son they’d never have.. I would be haunted by a dream too.. of nayna, asleep peacefully in her mansion and us in her outhouse and I would dream… of riches and of bright lights and fireworks..
Coincidence or whatever ..the day I was appointed to get the morning newspaper from the gate on the bicycle I saw that Nayna had breasts. A little mound on the dress ..maybe it was the morning sun or my headiness on a bicycle as I flew past on it and turned to look back and her arms waving frantically at me, pointing forward …. Lost and bruised.. as I picked myself up from the ground and mounted the atlas once again, I felt like I could wade through a thousand brambles if only they would serve as an excuse for me to look back. The first ride is the loneliest one …after that the mobility is just an excuse…
Not only did she have breasts.. she was taller .. This was unacceptable, of course. Especially when she and I went to different schools and walked back for 1/4th of the way, from where our buses/rickshaws would drop us off. I was walking beside her ..and then not.. I would pretend to tie my shoelaces every time we would pass a bus stop. She kept saying “ I’m going to ask dadu to get you new shoelaces” …she never did ..
Her breasts however kept growing until one day they stopped and this was miraculous…she would stop growing now and I could compete …

Nayna nayna nayna nayna
Who’s the taller bol na ?
Was my constant refrain
I outgrew her by almost a foot …

Gangly, my thinness became subject of ridicule.. New questions to answer.. Every time I would catch up she would be there ..With a new book , with a new role for me to play ..Never a word as to how I had done so far..

Nayna the ..
Just nayna ..the bubblegum

I would take the atlas everyday and fetch the milk from the front gate ..the milkman drifting away as the gates closed was a morose sight to start the day with …however I always used to think of what he left behind
They did not send me to college and nayna . she went ..
“It’s always good to have a social service project at home , isn’t it ?” , I said
“I never thought of you like that , you know that” , nayna said
“ Why the fuck are you crying ?
Why the fuck are you crying …
They just convince me even more that
You took me to be a project” “that’s all”
She was still in control…
“ I just wanted to show you the new dress”
And why, WHY did you want to show me that? , just to make me feel bloody shitty and that in spite of a bachelor’s degree I can’t get a job , feed my parents? , is that why you decided to show me the new dress .. To show me what your world is and what mine is ? “
After all the day’s vitriol had been poured
“No I just wanted to show it to somebody ..Somebody who wouldn’t say how short it was”

“ITS SHORT AND ITS crass and you’re dressed up like a bloody whore!” “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

The bubblegum burst ..For the first time I saw beneath her breasts..

Nayna the woman
You know she died today.. Nayna I mean .. And I don’t want to comment on anything else except on how young she was and how unfair it all is. And I find myself unable to comment on both.
Her breasts are still. The heart that once beat within is still and I am weaned ..Once and truly of the
Fascination that was nayna .

Nayna the Ghost

“Oh did I mention the fact that “ , what a desk way of saying things , well at least what sprung to my mind and “whatever” is in order !

“Did I mention?”
That she killed herself

Srinivas Rao pulipati had this email ,all figured out …he had this woman, out to be a whore , he had her out to be, Miss Ranch , he had her out to be ,poisoned …poisoned with something “he could not figure out” …somebody all of us fight with …as the seductress, as the girlfriend, as the wife.
Nayna cackled , she laughed “Oh you men”
She cackled and burned bright tonight as she spewed and hummed
“Nights in white satin “
“Never reaching the end “
“Letter I had written “
Never meaning to send
Bright and sure …even as morning rears its head

WELL ..
Here’s to the ghosts of another day!
I did say I was the trumpeter…and I did blow … on her funeral day ….after all …a man’s got to do what a mans' got to do !?”

To nayna the whatever …
!!!

Women are from bras and men are from ...well !

2005-07-10T02:29:00.000-07:00

A repost of my first ever post!

“Next time I produce a movie, I'll make sure you get a part,” she said and winked, naughtily, if I may add.

“And may I be impertinent enough to ask what that part might be?” I said with an overdose of sarcasm.

“A dead body!” she said.

Gosh, I thought to myself, I can't believe I fell for that again!

But that's the way it is, me the uninteresting bloke and she is… (explain said the guidelines, so the tense is present in case you thought the species was extinct) the effervescent spirit.

(Psst… what's that I hear? Hmm, you want to know the name!)

Well then, on popular demand:

“The name is ….(oops the ellipse is rather prolonged in its axis!)”

“Women are from bras and men are from Penus.”

“Hawr, Hawr” (No, it is in fact a female of the boo-hooman race, and yes, they can sometimes surprise you with the sound of what they call 'laughter'.)

“r”

“H”

“E”

“A”

And in case, gentle reader, you're lost, that's the name -- she always wrote it like that.

“Will you marry me?” she asked.

No, I thought to myself, I'm not falling for that again.

“Will you marry me?” she asked again.

(Enter JhunJhunwala, The sad music man)

When the day is small a lot smaller…than the night
And all you have is the darkness
Like the summer that never was to be
Watching the stars that twinkle from afar
Unlike the twinkle in your eyes
As the dreams drop by
Carrying a piece of your heart every time

“Sa'ab, mem saab ko bolo ki joke is no longer joke for you,” JhunJhunwala says.

Another swig of the famous preparation and I crush JhunJhunwala out of my head.

I smile and say, “For the two years that I've known you, I've asked you that and you have always asked me to go look for my Siamese twin. Then why this suddenly?”

“I don't know… I just felt like Romeo today instead of Juliet,” she said.

“Well, as long as it's a day-long affliction!”

“No, seriously. You haven't seen me, don't know what I look like, haven't ever met me, blah blah blah…” she said.

“Would you still marry me?” she asked.

(In case this sounds like one of those oh-so-famous chat transcripts… your worst fears have indeed come true, just a tad more animated.)

(Ting Ting Ting)

Boy, she's persistent, I thought.

“I don't know. No one's ever said that to me before,” I said.

“Oh, c'mon. If you don't come up with something more original than that…” she says

“Nah, really!”

(Ting Ting Ting)

Man, you're such a sucker, you fall for that every time… after all this time! I think to myself.

“You're such a gorgeous woman. Why would you want to be with such a normal bloke like me?” I ask.

“Normal. Hello?? That's why!” she said.

Oh-So-Good.

Just as I'm levitating…

(Enter Mr. Reality)

Dude, she's using you.
She faking love
Just like them others
Who wants you ooooo
For your money
Trrgh trrgh crrrgh Stop Stop It doesn't even rhyme

(Exit Mr. Reality -- you gotta get beat, dude! And I'm broke.)

(Ting Ting Ting)

“Hey, are you there?” she asks.

I wake myself out of my reverie and say, “Yes.”

“So, then?” she asks, “Will you marry me?”

Ask her and say it… it's for the best! Someone tells me.

“So what about that guy you said was interesting (and really cute) and you went out to lunch with a gazillion times!”

(Oh-by-the-long-lost-way I'm not good at role-playing)

(Mr. jealousy makes an entrance and a quiet not-so-musical exit here)

“Oh, that guy,” she says.

(At least that's how I hear it!)

“Yeah, that guy,” I say.

Brace yourself for the worst, I think to myself.

“Hmmm, now you're acting like you really know me!” she says.

I can't stand this role-playing (Ting Ting Ting) any longer.

“Of course I know you. Of course, you're my wife of two years. God knows it's been a great journey so far, and all I think of now is that maybe it's not been the same for you!” I burst out.

“That's so sweet. You're jealous!!” she said.

“Grrrrrr.”

(Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting)

“Nahin, jaan (No, my dear) this ain't working out now, is it?!” she says.

“No, I guess it isn't,” I say.

How can you expect it to when I'm chatting with my wife sitting in the next room! That counselor must have been crazy (or brilliant… whatever.)

“You know I love you?” she says.

I don't utter a word.

“So will you marry me?”

(A great Danish pause)

What the heck, it's the season all over again!

“Yes, I'll marry you,” I say. “I will, I will over and over again even if I have to undergo this a thousand times.”

So gentle reader, if it may please you, pass not this chronicle of domestic unrest to others; and as a species, remember it is not even important what Mr. Perfect's name is… we just want to be cuddled…(I wish i could change this PAPA BEAR sentence..but then NO! artistic integrity :) ) and yes, if you want that shrink's address, e-mail me.

(Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting) (Ringing furiously here!)

Can't stand it any longer!

I get up, open the door and let Love and rHEA make their entrance… (Yet again) and we silently renew our marriage vows and let Mr. Love do the talking.

(Shhh… Thanks again, but I don't really need a song here.)

Durga!

2005-07-03T05:31:00.000-07:00

The windows are down. The wind is streaking my hair with grey as it urges a thought past every hair and splits time into two... what if? What if? Tricky business this...

The sky had churned itself into a very dark grey...almost black but not quite. The clouds were all trying to merge into shapes that I had not quite seen...frightful yet friendly
This was catharsis at its best and I felt a mirror being held unto my face
This purgatory was in fact my only salvation. How many times had I questioned this thought before? Today however I had to face my demons

This was not an evening to be driving with the top down. It might rain any minute. I knew that the moment I had set out of the house. As I walked down the driveway I looked back for a second at the house. That interminable second would not cease as I looked at the brick and mortar that encased my existence. The paint was flaking, I noticed. The water seepage was showing. Algae were trickling along the line that defined the water seepage. Funny how the destruction of a thing gives life to another. The roof still retained its proud definition... a shadow that sets with the sun every day and rose with it too... punctual... everybody has two lives... one that is constant, unmoved by nature, just giving into decay...and the other that is born and dies everyday.

“Why did you not return my calls today?” Ranjani asks enraged. “Today was bad...”. “Tell me something new”, she said, sarcasm dripping off every word.
“Not today”, I whispered.
What did you say, she asked. “Nothing “. “It’s always nothing with you”

It began two months ago when I had started seeing Aparajita.
Names have always held a fascination for me. It reminds me of the final chapter that is the toughest to write. For having created something so beautiful out of a piece of wood the sculptor agonizes over what to call it.

My grandmother used to tell me this story of this simpleton in a village who was very gifted with his hands. He used to make wooden statues for the village festivals... statues which would be immersed into the river at the end of the festival period. The simpleton was allowed to choose his wood, his look. No one was allowed to take a look at the statue until it was unveiled at the first day of the festival. Every statue that he made would signify the mood of the moment. If the villagers were afraid of some impending tax or sarkari takeover. He would make a statue that would look sad. On the rare occasions that the villagers were happy he would apply an extra coat of vermillion on the forehead of the statue. Every day of the year he would have food to eat, for he was blessed. Until the year he refused to part with the statue…
The villagers screamed and stood with fire torches outside his hut, demanding to see the statue, their festival goddess. The bhaktas deserve a darshan, they shouted. He did not budge, stood there mute, before his veiled statue. Some of the elders tried to reason with him, trying to dissuade him with food, playthings, even promising the dhol they had taken away from him.
They showed him visions of plague, of rotten deaths, and of bloody carnage. In the end they simply asked him why he did not want to give the veiled statue to them.
He replied “I am married to her” “She is my most beautiful creation”
They laughed out aloud, “Oh what a simpleton! “, they cried.
They restrained him in chains and took the statue. They heard a last wailing cry from him…”Please don’t unveil her, have her as the statue but don’t unveil her”. The villagers agreed to this pitiful cry and had the festival for the first time with a veiled statue. Then came the day of the immersion... and the simpleton had been released three days earlier for he was too weak to cause any mischief.
They decided to immerse her, veiled as she was. The clouds had gathered to form a dark backdrop on the horizon. The villagers were as terrified of the clouds waiting to unleash their anger as of the village priest’s warning that the veil should not be lifted as the statue was drowned.
They chose the simpleton to carry out the task of pushing her out to sea. He would be no great loss to the village, they argued. To their surprise no force was required and the simpleton agreed to carry out the task of pushing her out to sea. He stepped out dandily dressed, grabbed the plank with both his hands, his sinewy arms strained, pushing away from this desecration of his beloved every second. He lost his footing however and slipped and fell. The sands and the water engulfed him and took him down as a mother grabbing her lost child. The statue slowly floated away and a gentle breeze rose from the west, and...Lifted her veil for just a second. At that very instant a thunderbolt split into two the curtain of the clouds.
For the villagers who were gazing, petrified at this spectacle, they were blinded for many moments at the brilliant flash that had dazed them. For many minutes they were stunned and then sight returned, for most of them.

The sea before them was covered with wooden statues, floating, each purposeful, vigilant
The body of the simpleton was never found. Never floated up to the surface. The statues drifted away… the villagers never celebrated the festival again. They were afraid their conscience would take another form to haunt them...

And today I fight my demons…
Aparajita was not my “type”, she would challenge every thought, every rationale I had for every action. She would challenge my authority every second. She was trying to change me into something, and I gauged that she liked the resistance, as I did too. It was a game that had no losers. The days she wanted to make love she would place the cactus plant on her balcony. She would have it no other way. This I always questioned... why not a phone call?? Why not a simple phone call? There was no reasoning with her though... and there I was looking up to her balcony afternoon… I knew she was watching...I always knew that and that she especially enjoyed seeing that look of disappointment on my face when I would leave the sidewalk... I knew that because she would call me up in office in the evening to tell me “I love you inspite of everything... a cactus does not necessarily mean that you are stranded in a desert” …
Ah what a simpleton and what a predator! But which was which?

“Ah you were just a conquest!”
“What about our love for each other?” I screamed
“This decision is mine. Don’t try to blackmail me with some love laden innuendo, you know as well as I do that we both were just objects and bodies... That is all ... this however.”
“But “, I interjected.
“Let me complete”, she said
“I want to have this child and without you. I don’t want you to be any part of this child’s life... she is mine and mine alone... She will not have a father and not even his name, she will only have me...and she will be happy, I have decided to call her...Suverna”

I showed her vistas of society which would barb her; give her and her child names, names that would stick to her through her life. She would not share, would not let me be a part of something so beautiful. She had her strength and I had my promises. But what good are promises to somebody who doesn’t want anything except to want me away.

I immersed her, drove the very thought of her away and returned home.
The one question that remained with me was “Why?”
Was it because she was selfless enough to let me off the hook with an excuse and a reason
Or was she genuinely selfish?

Women always know. Especially the ones that know you. Ranjani was in a bad mood, almost every day of those two months.
I wanted to bring matters to a head so I left some photographs of app and me lying on my desk.
There was no reference to them at the dinner table and it was a calm quiet dinner.
“What’s her name?” ranjani asked
Aparajita, I said
Nice name and then silence
“Well she’s going to have to fight like hell if she wants to steal my husband away from me”
I did not say anything and walked out of the house

I face my demons now... I stare out at the ridge that overlooks the valley swathed in white bandages. As if moonlight was balming the wounds of the day for the houses that smoked from within
My face peered back at me from the valley, unrecognizable and contorted and ugly
And then I felt a touch on my shoulder

I looked around to see ranjani,
She was beautiful, by the moonlight; every feature was chiseled as in granite

“I am going to have our child, and from this day forward expect loyalty and nothing else
Expect loyalty and nothing more”

As she said that the moonlight did a strange dance and her features floated away into the misty silence.
Immersed in a sea of white...
Indistinguishable from the white
That had sprung to her defence...

Contentment

2005-07-01T05:07:00.000-07:00

Contentment is my excuse , for feeling
Happy without a sense of failure
Venture as it does without refrain
The honesty that jeers, unrelenting

Names I conjure between now and then
Stare at me with passion
Sing our requiem , a proper burial
Demand the voices, stentorian

Every dream that lies stretched
At the altar of practicality, signals
Questions that beg to be asked
Echoes that refuse to be bequeathed

Every door I open now ,no escape
A mirror faces me at every wall ,showing
Me a thousand lives I might have led
Slowly they fade, they bled

Until I look at myself , passive
And then I look around
Content I am and happiness abounds
Everywhere ,except …..

Catharsis

2005-07-01T04:36:00.000-07:00

Catharsis

Once again I see
Things I was not meant to
Through the hazy pane
That shields, your world

Lips that tasted like dew
Settling slowly ,smouldering
Conquering and yielding
Born again and new

Give me the hemlock I desire
Doubts that cloaked words,unspoken
When I walked that thin wire
Of deceit and promises broken

The birthday gift that made no sense
A wooden frame with a calligraphy grill
That would swathe your face with sundrops
That every morn I woke up to see

And what if it is cloudy , you asked
It is cloudy today I wrote ,
And I feel like the jew
Whose cheek, the pound of flesh, smote

the ghost !

2005-05-28T04:08:00.000-07:00

The white stares at me ..
With blank eyes staring
And goring me to my bone
I blink first. Lose again ..

They say the ghost is real
The ghost of your past
In terms certain, talks, endlessly
And no ink on the line, craft

I see you through the sockets
Blended and visual , the applause
Rings in endless echoes, the clapping hands
Jest me!, ask “ I believe, do you?”

Divorce!

2005-05-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

And.. and to the bright new day
Thats happening by and by
Its mine and its yours
Fifty fifty says the law of the bay

Can I please split my kid into
1/2 or half, with a cleaver
the instrument of choice
Or maybe leave him with a debt

4 years ago he was just a toy
tenfold he grew and said
I want out, and emphasised
Me Too! my blood i cried..

How many justifications did I
want ? to walk out when
Moments replayed their continuity
Fondness hid behind obscurity

My mind is made up though
Its now or never ..i mix
The coffee ..french roast
particular and thick...

Honesty is a bad bargain
When all you gotta trade
In, is jack and the beans
VIBGYOR for india and china for jade

Yes this split ..Im still measuring it !
And stillness causes a doubt
Until the tired ghosts talk
FAREWELL ,my dear IOU !

Despondent!

2005-05-21T06:57:00.000-07:00

The hands strike twelve
Destiny con-joined in siam
with time, as it screams
Your hands in penance

Twice i say you blind me
Everytime you turn off the radio
The conversation that threatens
to be ..Dont touch me!

Love and its flow that i will
never know. twice i mist
the windows with my rehearsals
skin etched with a quill

I carve my name on the misty windows
twice you stopped me. the brightness
too far and too near.. the skin grows again
my name and yours etched on the willow

i choose the parts of the sun
that streak in .. on the particular day
once bitten and forever shy..my eyes!!
the allies forever dark and dry

i shut them and close them
deliberate and musical
torn and bequeathed
In chorus now! .."In memoriam!"

Mac and the parallel universes !

2005-05-19T03:23:00.000-07:00

The mac lay down. The mac was thirsty too... the thirst was mostly an afterthought...after the mac decided the best place to die was under the sun after all.
/* The TCGttS strongly advocates the theory of parallel universes
Denoted as ! In most widely held belief systems ..It has been a conspiracy by the other books
To denote a measure of incredulity in the statement just spewed! (For example)
Whereas the simple truth was in a parallel universe the statement was the most natural under the circumstances ..Syntactically and logically..
A parallel universe was defined by the TCGttS alternatively as
1) The Snail’s life ..YES the one that you squashed underfoot
2) The telephone directory in reverse alphabetical order and John’s incredulity at status quo
3) 8 laid down to rest finally and the priest’s dilemma ..Since now there were many many many (ad infinitum) 8s to cremate
4) The HiGuy2deGal book
5) “Piggy on a railway line picking up a stone” sung to the tune of “Saawan ka mahina pawan kare sor”
6) Edited out
The TCGttS strongly advocates 7 pints of beer at this point ..One for each alternate explanation
And one for the road …for boy oh boy are you going to need it ! */

The mac was in the desert you see ..Having vini vidi and most comprehensively vicied the phoenix , the mac was well and truly alone in the desert and dying ..Since there had been no food or water for the last day and for a constitution as frail and as hung-over as the mac this was doom
The mac lay down on the sand and in a very articulate moment thought about the theory of ! As mentioned in the TCGttS and decided to shout “YO!” to the alter ego in a parallel universe.
Now the mac was a believer but not a believer believer you see .. So the silence came as a shock
The silence was “YO 2 U2 “ in dubbul spit
The mac well and truly circumspect decided to shout YO again ..Again silence !
And then a third time as the MAC opened her mouth….

/* the question that everybody has been asking the TCGttS
1) the secret of time travel
2) the ageless crème
3) the secret to all happiness

WHAT DOES AN ENDLESS ECHO OF “OH SHIT!” Sound like

A rather technical explanation follows
The first clues were found by a rather strange fella named Einstein who called it the theory of relatives and established a rather strong correlation between time and space..
Nein then grew rather fond of the.., what he decided to call the GUT..
A true breakthrough was made by one fella who followed and decided that there was in fact a conspiracy against all beings intelligent called the space time continuum
The TCGttS aided by the research of one of its most luminous reporters “Luminous” would like to clarify
Imagine a line of men lined up like in a tug of war (Frames of reference- discrete not continuous)
Imagine a punch thrown to the tummy of the first in line
And how every man in line sort of resists then backs up to the buckling of the one in front of him
The resistance or the pull on the tug is the gravitational force pulling the stupid to the source of the punch whereas the tug or time is the one pulling it away

The GUT or the interaction of the forces in the GUT can be described thus…
Laying to waste all notions of continuum since opposing and equally strong forces become by their very nature very closely held discrete points only approximating a continuum
However there is a continuum
When first hit by the punch the first stupid said Oh shit and when buckled into, the second said the aforementioned abominable thereby making it a continuous wail
These various stupids in their various frames of reference were therefore the answer ..Reaching different levels of facial contortions depending on their position in the line … In other words choose your answer !
PS – the punch was also called the BIG bang and the source God */

The Mac having opened her mouth to say YO decided to say “OH Shit!” instead and thus was (Briefing a lot of happenings! ) transported in space and time to a !
On the way
1) The mac rubbed her bleary eyes and found herself singing “Mrs. Robinson” in central park dressed as ART !
2) The Mac rubbed her hungry tummy and found herself in a bollywood movie “as a bhang demented character rubbing his tummy and grinning “
3) The mac stretched out and found people nailing her to a piece of wood
4) The mac thought of Dilbert and smiled ..and then opened her eyes wide in horror as various legends had sprung up about lost love and she was being called Leila in one and Heer in the other and Juliet in another one
5) Shat on Santa Claus’ head and in true Christmas spirit Santa decided to share his spots with the rest of the reindeer team
Twenty five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill
Of Hoopoe
For a destination!
The mac sang loud true to the form of all the school bus trips when forks were being stuck in her face ..Tch tch the warts !

You know it must have been destiny for THLo was in the line of dis-cretins
And the wattage that Mac provided to the OH shit placed her in THLo’s frame of space and time
In other words mac … mac… got home!
Now in that !
Events were about to transpire
/* the TCGttS strongly recommends the new and improved version of tingtingteeth
The TCGttS also partially well very nominally depends on its existence on dental Ads
And only dental Ads ..
Tingtingteeth was in its fourth generation and was recommended for
1) meeting relatives for the first time
2) meeting anybody for the first time
3) The first time ..ooooo
Aided by FloorAid the tutpaste will make yer teet strawnger …smiled the kilted gentleman
For you dawnt git a sikund chawnce it a ferst imprayshen*/

The mac had her tingtingteeth on as she rang the bell … on a door
As it opened Mac had her widest smile on and at that very moment … at that very inopportune moment the stupid comet decided to Flash (as if we haven’t heard this one before )
The flash glinted offa mac’s tingtingteeth and blinded the door opening thing .. in this case the bat!

/* TCGttS
The Bat had actually been an extremely handsome specimen of his species ..a member to have in every cricket team .. every lynching team .. every mobbing team .. in short an upright member of society and a TEAM man … until the BAT was rid of his vision in an unfortunate smelting accident(*UEX) …these days the BAT is searching for his lost love …hanging upside down …
Apparently the last words of his beloved were “Up Urs!” */
Entrée ! Mac into the parallel universe !  as she tch tched her way past bat …..

PS -- *UEX -- very bad piece of reporting here !!
and for previous reports
Ouch baby very ouch --Episode 1
Return of the Mac! -Episode 2
The mac and Dilbert! - Episode 3

The mac and the catterpillahs

2005-04-09T04:52:00.000-07:00

Apologies first offa to SSM ..for the delay in postin the adventure ..
and as a sidenote i suggest to meself Metamucil ..for regularity ...GROSS!!

And underneath the XYZ towers the mac found its true destiny .. the journey
the err ..the ..TCGthS soully recommends a nite out in such circumstances ..as in whenever Vows of the bheeshma proportion have been taken ..an audience is needed to say WOW
and no cause for consternation My X minded readers ..Mac has not sworn celibacy ..( in fac that word only existed in dubbulspit :)
In fac the whole point of this discourse being how the journey of "The Mac" affected the sex life of them catterpilla=s
you wonder how ??
tch tch
then follow ...

the mac having been deeply moved by the discourse of the man bent over and the man standing over him decided to find the road first which would Qualify for the question that the mac had in mind ..appropos .. the mac set off .. (No no you perv ..not in her bedroom) in full public and virtuous view.. to henceforth decide as to whether her life was preordained ..
having decided the Question, the Mac now decided to find her way home (for you see ,She was of the female species and no matter how obfuscated you sound ...She i.e. the Mac knew exactly what you meant ..which was a pity of course! )

the rest of the story being that ..the Mac found herself in egypt.. in front of the PHOENIX
..now the mac had small eyes ..very small eyes ..capable of catching the slightest detail ..
And she stood now in front of the phoenix ...
At this moment a very unfortunate occurrence occured. The TCGTtS says that history says THAT.. a giant meteorite absolutely Bored with its existence decided to Flash itself in front of the innocent eyes of the mac ..the result being that the mac was now transmogrified into the Mag-nify

the Mac now perceived .. of course ..it was divya drishti .. the phoenix was a giant acrobatic feat no less ... one lazy catterpillar over another !! ...the mac was adventurous and seeing was CERTAINLY not believing ... She said "Hi" ..
This was absolutely unacceptable to the catterpillars who had spent an N number of years in celibacy and in performing the acrobatic feats aforementioned
so ...they all said they were going on STRIKE !
and they climbed down and the phoenix was destroyed...
Which was "Kewl" for mac of course since she now had a course to ride !
however Mac being mac decided that the catterpill-ahs needed some rehab ...and this is when mac met the party-cater
the party caterpillar ...ahhh ...sigh the less said about him the better
Mac was absolutely besotted with the party cat
the party cat was somehow ...
1) skateboarding on top of the sliding called "the great depression"
2) hatted on at the time of bankruptcy
3) in fact the cat let us into one of his major secrets "you re as hungry as you eat" ...which was a joke as it turned out! "

So mac was now faced with this Great wall ... of catterpillars which had dismantled to form another wonder " a WALL!"
This was the first time Mac was in love however which is why she was absolutely trite about having her heart broken ...In any case it could not be friendly advice... i tried fourteen disguises and the mac would know ... sigh ! which meant i would just have to be a hero!!
Now Now to the real secret! ..the cat-err-pill-ahs had been lulled into a state of complacency ..in which case most of them just laid past ..and some tried to build on their careers ..being mid level managers and all that;) ...
So mac fell in love and would share her lunch box everyday with her newest pal ...party cat
The party cat was innocent however and only a hundred years old ( Know age for knowledge!)
and they let Mac be with her Party cat.. such a joint had been known in the past days as heady ... however these days it was known as "cool" which was ironic however as the rain gods hadn't pissed in years ...
That however is a discussion reserved for future episodes ..
under a shy night sky Mac finally dared to ask ..the name of the party cater..
the party cater rolled up his eyes and said "dil..bert"
and thus Mac was introduced to great happenings in the course of middul age ..
This was a great shock to mac ..totally unacceptable ..
she decided to count matchsticks to pacify herself ..in fact she counted up to a hundred of them .. when she had reached fifty however ..she decided she wanted to be a rock star
the party cat a.k.a. dil..bert decided that he needed to face his folks and such like ..and decided to climb down the mountain of romantic sojourns with a stone tablet that contained ten coupons to the next Mac concert ..and these were widely distributed as the ten mac-ad-ments

Dil..bert and mac having been the true agents of change decided that the party was now truly on .. got their respective hats with a beach blanket and while the Mac skittled on to newer adventures under her new disguise she left the erstwhile phoenix err its constituents a much more "ACTIVE" place.. party and all
..Dil..bert was one Happy caterpillar..

a shake-a-leg-at eventide!

2005-04-09T04:08:00.000-07:00

The horizon was dark, grey...beautiful
The wind lilted and teased the clouds as they struggled in vain with the
Golden lining that had started to assert itself
I have always believed that the morning sky is a mirror to my dreams
As the sunlight filters through the mist and splits into a thousand rainbows, gently
Urging it to settle into little pearls on leaves...

However today's different

I’m seeing everything as a shade of grey...no black and white...
Just plain old grey
I look and stare at the few strands of grey in her hair...
Smiling to myself "Three! Sweetheart you've been lying to me! You always said only two...”
And suddenly the third is incredibly beautiful...each fleck of sunlight that bounces
Off it, blinds me...yes I want to spoil her hair, run my fingers through it
..Take what's mine... and yet sometimes it’s not that easy...

I have this powerful urge to look at the first photo we had taken together
Clandestinely :) just two copies...negative burnt...one in my wallet and the second
In her locket. The wallet's in the drawer... Its April after all...its spring!
I creep up as silently as I could...run my fingers as slowly and gently as possible
Along the chain, this moment of surfeited and clandestine contact as thrilling as the first time I touched
Her... as I’m struggling with the clasp of the locket trying to pry it open...I notice
Her eyes are wide open...and she has this absolutely wicked grin on her face...
Th..th..the photograph I stammer ..and she says "Yeah right!"
I smile back and look at her as she throws her head back and laughs
"I’m going to get a cup of coffee ..You want any ?"
I shake my head and look out of the window
She walks out of the room , happy as a sunbeam...
"Has it really been that long?" , I wonder ....

As I arrange the bedsheets the piece of paper fell out of my pocket
I quickly contrived to hide it as she walked in with a steaming cup of coffee, smiling
"What are you hiding ?" " A letter?"
I nodded a very extravagant YES and she laughs out loud once again
Brush,Shave,breakfast and I’m off to office

3 missed calls at office .. two from my doctor ..

it’s been a dull day and as I wrap up for the day ..I notice that the clouds have begun creeping up again
a one hour drive back home and suddenly I'm seized with this urge to buy her flowers..
I stop by the local Safeway ,get a bunch ..as I’m fumbling in my pocket for some change ..
it’s no longer there ..the biopsy result is missing ...
hurriedly I get back to the car and search , like a madman for the piece of paper which ordained finality
It’s nowhere to be found..and yet I remember having put it in my pocket before I went to take a bath..
"Don't worry She has not seen it ! " I try and comfort myself
I try and sound cheery as I get back home , earlier than usual
"Hello anybody home?"
and the as the doors open I lay my eyes on the most beautiful woman that ever walked on the face of this earth
"Hmm Jaanu honorable intentions I hope ?" , I winked
"Ahuh No" ,she smiles back
I wince in pain as I bend down to kiss her ...and that's when I knew she had seen it
She gaily turned away and ran to the living room
dabbing her eye as she ran
"A candle light dinner, for the two of us " ,she smiles
"Hmm… Who should join you at the dinner table ,Zorro or just the mask" , I wink
" No , just my husband " ,she said ..

we have a quiet dinner and I ask her if she wants to go outside and take a walk and she doesn't say anything
holds my hand and leads me to the parlor
we sit on the swing for a long time
Both of us are smiling
she does not answer any of my questions ..just keeps breathing down my arm .. goose pimples..
and then it’s almost like it’s a part of my arm
we both smile ...thoughts swirling ...in health and in sickness ..in joy and in grief
Till death do us part
I kiss away a tear that is threatening to drop ..

the sky is dark and a flash strikes
lightning tearing the sky into half
the darkness brings to fruition its destiny as a thousand tears drop from the sky

I know I love her and I know she loves me too
maybe it was just dull after so many years and that happens too ...
and maybe excitement and suspense are not such good company after all
Our love has never stood a test such as this before..
Gentle reader what do you suggest?

1) a piece of paper with "April fool" scrawled on it (Risking ex comm to the couch for a week,the price of honesty ..and well err folly! )

2) a second test result which declares the biopsy negative ( after a week ,of course …
this mode should at least last for a week!.. wickedness and be condemned to hell for eternity!!…
however as I figure my paradise is right here , right now! )

Return of the Mac!

2005-04-09T04:06:00.000-07:00

The adventures of Mccurry and her warts

In spite of the ad-venture with THLo and the Heimlich maneuver
The Mac had what can be called a happy childhood ..pleasant field trips with
acne-d kids trying to poke her face too with instruments called forks(Yes they can be used for eating too!)
Mac's first brush with the harsh realities of life came in fact even before she had been hatched
Mac was rolling. and rocking down a hill ...when she got picked up by a Chinese peasant woman (a distant relative of THLo) who said "HOW CUTE!" and then promptly rolled Mac over for the remainder of the cliff... (Ack -- Kung Pow)
The Mac rolled and tolled for a great length of time and over great stretches of sand before the cracked shell found its existence in the middle of a great plain.
The Mac reared its tiny gluey head out of the shell and took in the grand world...and my my grand it was...
There was a man in a chariot and another man bowing ...having giant bouts of the unmentioned abominable requiring enormous quantities of angelsoft... such foul winds of change had never blown...and thus the decision was taken to promptly dedicate the incident to legend ...thereby commisioning a band to sing an Ode to the aforementioned environmental "happening" and the army to tear down a particular wall.. To expedite access to a certain room of rest across the border...

note 1
This promptly laid rest to two of the prevailing theories...
One of the supremacy of a certain race...
And the other and more important one
Which came first?
The chicken or the egg?
Ans = the egg rolled over and the chicken went
Not a question of who came first?

The chicken decided that this Q needed to be answered and therefore promptly swallowed great diets of multivitamins (for strength) and Viagra (for depression)
The vitamins found their way and the Viagra did not...getting stuck in the throat ...thereby leading the erstwhile chicken et rooster to croak every morning for help

Mac meanwhile was watching and promptly trotted over to the gentlemen in the chariot
and asked them if...pssst pay attention
IF
"There was a road to cross”?

Diarrhea ...of the verbal kind promptly ensued at great length and great quantities
trying to explain to the bent-over man that this was the question and therefore in order to find the answer he would need to stand up for himself and find a road and then walk across it...Mac meanwhile was frantically trying to assure them of an audience in case the bent-over realized that the world was right-side-up in spite of the visions.
Mac's frantic waving caught the Man's attention however and decided to peel him an onion...
the point being all great things come at a price... a price that Mac was not willing to pay. So Mac decided that the next best course of action would be to roll over...
The onion was something Mac was NOT willing to go dutch over!

Mac however was dreadfully unimaginative and deploring her inability to conjure up a mirage ...especially now when the thirst was overpowering... at this opportune moment came rain ... not like Mac was begging ...was mostly salty as she drank it and truthfully so (for senses DONOT lie!) the rain was of a different kind ... made of giant drops of salty water which seemed to have these origins in..as she looked up ...at these gargantuan rolling eyes in the sky ... almost as if to say
if you run out of things to feel sorry for...count on me!

Mac filled all of this up in her little belly as she traversed, fiercely so, to the nearest cinema theatre 42 miles away
reaching there she paid her dues and settled into a comfortable chair as she began her journey ...or so she thought ...for it was HALOWEEN!!
a creature popped out of the skin and crept right next up to Mac and said
"Gosh Kid you're beautiful"
causing our dear M to transition through various shades of red...
and then the same figure assumed a rather ghastly shade of pale
and said Boo!
this was catalyst enough for dear old Mac to shed the red
.. PS... red promptly formed itself into a thick self serving flow and concealed itself in a bottle and proceeded to market itself as catch-up
Mac was hungry however ...having exerted her tiny newborn frame so much so
Mac decided a good place would be beneath the XYZ towers...a tower full of company meetings in progress....where at every instant an executive would spout "we must take that with a grain of salt" ...Mac would promptly proceed to chew on that grain ... not a very smart choice in retrospect ...given the future full-o-BP

at this point Mac decided to take the city bus and get back to the beginning...where the author was still waiting for her ...with a fork ..." here you go Kid...empowered thou art! :) "

2005-04-09T04:05:00.000-07:00

A broken tooth inspires me thus
as in second installment
do dissectus ..
hopefully this is a better stew :)
Shhh poetry readin session in progress....

The dental monologues
---------------------------
MY teeth are pissed off
(“Excuse me”) PISSED OFF
The steely shiny instruments
Cold and darned near deck-a-dent

Allow me a little humor dear dentist
As you ask me about my insurance
I say your teeth are a perfect 10
Invisialign and sensodyne in totem

Do they hurt you ask
Are you pained?
I feel intruded invaded
No choice but then to take them to task

Will you please NOT smile at me?
The next time I'm in your office
A curt reminder and a toothbrush
Will duly suffice

The teeth have a mind of their own
In case you did not know you evil woman
SORRY I did not mean that... I supplice
Read my mind through such artifice?

My wisdom teeth you take and partake of
Delta or MetLife you press
Thank god even if it be four less
I say "Ummmurrm grummeltoh"

The story was really four wise men
From the east as they rose
To write Don quadro-tte
At the windmills with his toothbrush begotten

Three you say suffice as a moral
As to what you lose when the windmills charge
Three musketeers and such joy the three
Lost when the Tylenol over the steel they swore

PS- moral of the story
Lonely Tylenol= lonely Tylenol lonely Tylenol lonely Tylenol
One of a kind in this case = three of a kind ...guess??

A love story
----------------
Constant bickering
Of two kids to raise
Vacations forfeited
Life- the general malaise

Third day in succession
Same breakfast, what is she thinking?
Third day in succession
Same breakfast, I hope he sees im sulking

What did I trade for this?
The longing caress the sensual kiss

My life thrown to bits... contrived
A man and his lies, beguiled

A duller evening still
If he wears the same shirt tomorrow
Im calling my lawyer...alas
Love on mortgage- beg steal or borrow?

Its time for TV
The kids want the cartoons
And in unison both of us cry
Not today .today's platoon

Chided the kids are packed off to bed
We share the couch
Strangers -the love nested
Drawn together at the first touch

The gruesome story sought our silence
Everyday is a war I thought
And everyday a victory
For us...in spite of the turbulence

Raises her head and softly says
Honey Im thinking of taking up pottery
WHAT? With all the bills we have to pay
She snuggles up and stays quiet
The love will live to see another day

Since every love story needs to have martyrs
Ek tha raja
Ek thi rani
Dono mar gaye
Khatam kahani

a love story-II
-------------------

Chiseled in stone
my hands lovingly caress
flesh and bone
living breathing -the formless challenge

entreating me to be its savior
jesting I think, for who lies crucified?
the man or his hopelessness?
breathing life into his beloved

the scalpel skillfully shreds
as he looks for the heart
no not the one that’s stopped beating
for the one that said "Till death do us part"

"Sir, She’s dead”, the assistant cries
but it can't be...she wouldn't break a promise
I smile as I drop the mask to the floor

a fine surgeon and what an end
the naysayer say, to that fine career
but I'll look for that heart in every stone
as the four walls d in on everything I hold dear

chiseled in stone I say
the multitude closes in on me
I caress I entreat but relentless
the visions of greatness collapse
at what cost OH at what expense?

The last mile
--------------
They say there is life after death
Unbecoming though it may be
I yearn for those lovely dreams
Of colors crimson and ceaseless greens

cobblestones marked my steps
raindrops formed little mirrors
as I stared into pieces of my life
ambition...hope of a tiny river

merging blinding the sun glared
a thousand suns stared up at me
from those cobblestones
I closed my eyes...darkness, serenity

the life or a glimpse of it
pledges allegiance and promises
me a second chance
and bequeath to me an eternity
a memory

A bollywood tribute
---------------------
main aisa kyun hun
"tuin tuin" aisa kyun hun
rap rap blah blah hun
kyun hun kyun hun
oyeeiyaowe owey iyoun

teary eyes entreat the passing
of the lover on the street
as she prepares the bridal suit
in grief and in the sindoor forfeit...LOL

OYEeiyaOyeieya
gadbad hai yeh sab kya
OYEeiyaOyeieya

disgoosting i say movies like this
wifes pining for lost husbands and
like are the norm of the hublis
and change the world,, plans grand !!

Extraa marital (Shite)
uff what bite
actress ki life mein koi moral nahin hai
sarcasm strikes
"Kisi mard ka naam moral nahin ho sakta..HAI"

Vande Mataram -The twenty year anniversary (For ...)
--------------------------------
of the years that i have lost and found
with you
of the meanings i have trusted and bound
with you

thirty years later somebody wrote
a book to echo my heart
two pages stuck might be
of the mirror that showed, that smote

Things that i might desire
and things i might beseech
but things they are still
young ..the brave warrior seeks

In his arms ..the steel of endeavor
in your eyes ..the steel of hope
determination i see in that mirror
echoes as with it i cope

the storms everyday of my progeny
my dreams unshattered lent strength
beautiful, i might not be
But i know what i want to see

In that mirror i see my child
smiling, seeking my strength
as harry potter or as himself
the soldier who breaks faith with me

and yet seeks my loyalty
in the name of his mother
and in my second hand role ...as surrogate
i find pride

a cause greater than me, i cannot understand
I look in the mirror for meaning
telegrams everyday for thirty years
have not told me the story Im yearning

i hear his voice saying "You're beautiful mama!"
and i hear the steel coming across death
that cuts my heart and the noise
acrosss the town square is but
little reconciliation for the trumpets

Sigh my moment of leisure is but for grief
my steel needs my strength for the day
that needs his pride with the might, that may
perhaps, Will a thousand sons to life

Vande mataram

PS --creative except for the last poem!

poetry101 Ravaged !

2005-04-09T04:01:00.000-07:00

Laihdeez and gennulmen in true form!
i have been absconding yes ! but then there is a cause
its called poetry :D i try i try
Do dissect ....

INTRODUCTION
-------------------

In the meter and the rhyme
Of the following verses
Lies a covenant broken
In spirit and in time

A fable in tousled jeans
Lies shed like a second skin
Yearning to be told
A jilted lover, unconvinced

The cigarette smoke clenches
My throat, everything---chokes
Orphaned rain – it drenches
The mist clears—emotion? - A hoax!

Hum a tune through the clouds
Unbent, my silhouette
Jeers at my flagging spirit
Torn at its heels, does a pirouette

Look at the crimson of the sky
As it counts the stars
Disappearing by and by
Herald a new tsar

A covenant born of despair
Is broken and torn
Adieu I say to the prose of old
The dawn salutes poetry newborn

Abhinay
---------------
“kati naahin raat mori”
“Piya tore kaaran kaaran”

Left backstage to centre
The spot follows you

In the awkward moments
of the morning after
the applauding audience gone
you smile … a new bride...

Married to the tamul tree
touched yet untouched
Desire and fulfillment blur
as you lie wide-eyed staring, dreaming...

“honey can you get the door?”
The flesh creeps over the stone

for a moment you breathed
the eyes betraying the lost lover

Smile you do as always
Put over a new mask
Over the aging one, Pout
“No I won’t, It’s your turn “

Mercy I Beg!
-----------------------
Autumn...drives me simply... to despair
In honesty and to beware
Of emotions that strike low
And behold... that

The hangman makes busy
The jute itches
In the time that stretches
I read my will

The prison of the mind
Beckons in its loneliness
Death holds you in its bind
Autumn... sure steadfast

Dead man walking
…………………….
Can’t say much
Except mercy I beg!

The Seaside cliché
-------------------------------

Did not know the might will swallow
Its own pride
In layers they sneer at
The broken ship, The old ride

In fathoms measured
And depths unknown
The sea asks
The sea knows

As for me...I grin
The saying beknownst
Tis not the s”e”ize
Tis the motion of the ocean ;)

(Seesaw hopefully you would not mind!  )

Karmisth
------------------------
Samachar samachar
A boy grown
His destiny to unfold
Written in moulds

Tall and gawky he utters
“shit it’s a bad day”
As he stares at the monitor
“Truce truce” come what may

Of gremlins to conquer
And demons to vanquish
Grandiose dreams to pamper
“Seg fault”, something’s amiss!

Another day gone by
Its evening...funny how you long
For it all day and mourn its coming by

Bested by the youth of morn
A naysayer to the gripes
Coffee and doughnuts
Wipe the screen with the “Wipes”

Another day in my life
Skills and résumé’s ajar
“Why are you wasting my time?”
I grandly shout “Samachar Samachar”

I get knocked down
-------------------------------
They tilt and they tease
The arms as they lunge
The paws offered in truce or in
Humiliation …

I see, I dodge, and I fall
Against the ropes
The steel eyes of my predator
I rise again

A stiff shot and I’m ready
The canvas is life and
I paint it with a bloody nose
My chest pressed to the rose

The thorn says “Why oh Why”
I give my life blood and say
“I get knocked down
But I get up again”

The daylight breaks in rhythm
To the lonely wayfarer
I say sing a hymn... to life
In despair and in strife

“Luck? You say is Mrs. Robinson??”
And in the whole heartedness
Of stories untold and of quilts
That show faith betrayed

I say life’s a joke and I’m a clown
“I get knocked DOWN”
PS –For GOOD 

Holy trinity
---------------------
The French blinds play
“Pay your due, boy “
In the name of day
Ah yes I say “I will ... Today”

I had a a bad dream you know
Krishna lost in the flood
Jesus lost in the snow
No generation X

The fathers grieve
For the son they’d fitted
With a pacemaker
High defn they gritted

Yes my dear friend
As you bemoan the lost
I see in you all of them
“The father, the son and the holy ghost”

In retrospect 4 years
Was it worth it?

How much did my son mean to me
Don’t know just called him sunny
When I wanted my cup of tea
I called him hunny

He’s dead now
Of the heart they say
Ha ha “of the heart”
How but how….

My son, to you, when steel
Replaced your heart
Superman got his deal 
Jane is happy

I die slowly after you
Yes I do blame you
She pulls me back everyday
The trinity cries foul “ET Tu”

Rrrated
--------------------

Kissme and smile for me
Tell me that u’ll wait for me

The story’s loud and the story’s clear
The most uncynical the most unromantic
In beliefs, in the smile and the tear
Wave wave to a part of my life

When the mousse is melting
When the chocolat’ is begging
Times like these ..janamashtami
At 12 ..no 13 .. I destroy

The object that begs to be
Yes..i smile and destroy

The seven year itch!

2005-04-09T03:57:00.000-07:00

Well for those who don't know, here's the google(I wish!) .....funda being ..probab of married couples splitting up is highest when they have reached 7 ..the hallowed seven years of married life ... now how true is that ? ...

Hmmm ...for me the relationship has been rather up-and-down ......neah no better half ;) .. almost 7 yrs since i started working .. ...my pop had a very apt saying for this in assamese .. Confronted with my restlessness ...his brahmastra was ..."Tor Tikat kaint aase niki ?" ...that assamese ..Translation ..."Do you have thorns in your butt?" ...made me look..made me think ..yeah pops sometimes said G rated stuff out of frustration ...I've since learnt to forgive ;) ...Yesterday was talking to them and just had to ask my dad about this and if he felt something like that ......and mum too .. ...the topic totally changed from like work to romance .. I wasn't complaining .....Its strange when your parents open up to you ...and stop being parents ..and are just individuals ...my dad just let out a long sigh and says ..."im grateful for mrinali" ...and my mum ..." Its not a seven year itch ..Its a seventeen year itch (giggle) " ...and then she clarifies "the itch lasts for seventeen years " ..."So it was not a happy marriage ? " , i ask ...She totally gets defensive and asks me if they have failed in their duty as parents and a lot of stuff ... Im not going to get drawn in by that ... ...so i change the topic ..."What was your most romantic moment ?" ...my dad first ..." najanu .. prothomote moi jetiya taik ghori eta kini di-silu" ...*"Don't know ..The first time i bought her a watch" ...Mum next ... ..."Padrasan koi-se ..padasan koi-se ..padosan nai kua " laughs out crazy ...*"he said padrasan ..he said padasan ...he did not say padosan " ...this apparently was their first movie together ...."Shetu nohoi kintu" ...* "Not that though !"... " Moi aru teon biyar peesote english style photo eta loisilu" ...* "Me and him ..we took an english style photo immediately after marriage" ...i always carry that english style photu in my wallet ... ... Seven years ...they had both their kids and were struggling with the school fees ...that was an itch all right .....and i asked them about their favorite songs ..."ramaiyya vasta vaiya" - mum ..."Buku hum hum kore" ---dad -- this is like the ancient assamese version of the rudali song ......still found on musicindiaonline.com ( No i dont get paid for the shpiel ;) )... ...after seven years ...wanting to live on my own ...surprisingly ..finding my destiny in their footsteps .. the seven year itch was not all i had imagined it to be .. it was pleasant as i prepared for my own daughter's arrival .. ...i wanted to call her Nilanjana .. my parents did not agree ... they just wanted me to be exactly like them.. the first born cannot have a name starting with N ...but i wanted it ... just like that ...when she closes her eyes and opens them gently ...and then takes this world in ... in one giant stare ....she even has a frown :) ..just like her daddy :D ...I know what the seven year itch is now .....i know what it means when her ashen face smiles at me ... ...and the decision i did not take when faced with the doctor's Q "She'll bleed"...I said " i dont know ! " ...and she smiles at me with Nilu .. the seven year itch ??? ...Could any woman be more beautiful than nilu ? ...and every year when she asks me ...'"Papa what was mummy like ? " ...she was like the seven year itch nilu ... she was..and she wasnt ... more like the seventeen year itch :) .. im still biding my time............Hmmm creative !

Still Beautiful!

2005-04-09T03:56:00.000-07:00

"Raat baaki ...baat baaki ... "...

To my mind i still cannot decide which made a bigger impression ...the voice or the graceful shoulders moving in perfect harmony ....."Kashti jawan dil ki toofan se takra gayi"...The mind in its infancy w.r.t matters between men and women did not ...understand...Instead it sought to simplify ..Good and Evil ..No grey

a storm brews.. Doordarshan is confusing me ..WHY are they showing this movie ? and this song in particular ..Don't they know better ?I wish for "Rukawat" or "Nirma" but no .. not when you want it ..not when you want a moment to reflect on a moment of perfect beauty unleashed upon you ...for we have been taught to restrain ...and ecstasy in the face of such perfection is folly ...

"Hona hai Jo ho jaane do " ...Three years since then ...standard operating guideline .. "a Girl is a Man's worst enemy " ...and yet this incongruity remains ..how can something so "beautiful" emerge from the clans of my worst enemy (Doordarshan repeats the movie ..they sure knew how to emphasise !! ) ...By now the voice is Asha Bhonsle and the face is .. well .. beautiful

"Kise nahin marne dogi ..Yeh kya ho gaya tumhe ...tumhare maathe par yeh paseena kyun hai ...Kiski maut ke baare mein soch rahi thi.. meri huh?? ...arre meri maut aur zindagi to ab tumhare saath hai ....aur pyaar karne waale maut se dara nahin karte "
Testosterone happens ... bravado in its extremity
a truce ? ?
"Deewane parwane marne se darte nahin ..." blah blah...
"aa dekh le hai kya mazaa Dil haar ke " ...:) ... a couple of "I-Wish-I-Had-Not"'s later ..cynicism sets in .. a lot of practicality sets in .. i still love movies ... but i view them critically ...
"thinking" about whether i enjoyed them or not ...and yes they hold NO relevance to my life.. after all they must have spent some money on the standard disclaimer

Ten years later .. spirit survives ..."aagaz yeh hai to anjaam hoga haseen"

Hmmm Let's think about it :) That is the standard operating procedure these days :) ...procrastination

And while i do ..i come across this snippet of news ..about a funeral .. ......The slender shoulders moving in tandem to the music

long ,lustrous hair ..and a smile that just threatens to play on the lips ...and eyes that look straight at you ...without fear ...

Farewell i say to you ..and to a part of me

"Socho na dekho na ...dekho to..jaanejaan ...."..."mujhe pyaar se "
A swansong ... ...The image in my mind fades i think .. I cannot see through the veil that covers my eyes... a predicament that plagued the subject ...
in life and in death .. viewed in ..
black and white ..and yet ..
BEAUTIFUL!

Eight years ago ..and its still Blue!

2005-04-09T03:54:00.000-07:00

It was blue, a deathly blue ...over and over ...coats and coats of blue ..the sea, the skies, the sorrow ,all the shades awash on that landscape .....

You ..You made a valiant effort to wash them away with Your tears ..but No they would not stop ..no longer a slave to your command...Till it was the color blue in a watery curtain over that landscape .....a curtain draped over Your eyes ..maybe to numb the memories a little .....maybe to sweeten the loss a little....Ahhh Yes You tried ! The strong arm draped around Your shoulder began to falter ..the squeeze that lent strength to Your being was beginning to weaken ..and then He bent ..weak , fragile .. He walks to the side on the pretext of buying a book ...and for a minute You're left alone ..alone in the swirling mass of people ..orange ..green and a shade of red ..joy, sadness ,envy all form a maddening collage around You ..but all You can see is blue .....the blue of pride in the pinstripe that cloaks his guilt ..his guilt and Your pride ... distant yet emboldened by the same hue ...he smiles confused , waves ...and You see blue in the bottle of mineral water that He carries rushing , overwhelmed ..You feel trapped ..the water gushing out of the spout of the transparency of the container ..resisting ..just like You .....that whirlpool of a thousand images ... a series of photographs ..that You so passionately collected..each finding individuality in the blinding continuity that You weaved them into ..his life .. you dwell on it .....He holds it strong , the bottle of water , and he holds it too .. nobody willing to let go ... one taking , one giving .. but who was to take responsibility for this moment ? You disengage it from His hands ..and slip Your hand into His, as He lets go , as He always has , hands numb from gripping the bottle too tightly, the lines of fate running deeper ,inscribed in blue .....Ah a welcome respite ..a chaiwalla . little earthern pots carrying the elixir ...He fumbles , takes out crumpled rupee notes ..change from the taxi walla .. always in a separate pocket in His bush-shirt ,bargains out of habit ...insists on paying ... that man ..that MAN ..holds out for mortgage the tears in His eyes.. for a few minutes of control ..shielded in a few crumpled rupee notes .. ...They did not cry anymore .....I was there..I was there ...as they let the birds fly ...the birds flew into the sky ... eight years ago .. ...and all They could see was blue ......blue in the smoke of the Rajdhani as he waved goodbye ...Blue in the waters that separated them eventually ... Ma,Papa that was eight years ago .. ...Diwali is here again and I paint the same picture that stood still in time.. ...and yes Im happy .....No . Im wishing I could step back into that photo frame again .....for this diwali I'm wishing you light me a candle ...to show me the way when i beat the long dreary lonely path...Back home!! ...

A time of Great Pain!

2005-04-09T03:52:00.000-07:00

I could not sleep .. and i could not figure out why. And it suddenly struck me....Yes today was the day for which i had been practising my best smile for a while now.

I reached out grabbed my cellphone and looked at the time ..sheesh 8:00 am ..(What's the sun doing out at this time ..needs to go back home to mommy). However matters as important as these cannot be procrastinated.. I needed to groom up proper .. Disapproval was the last thing i wanted to see on that face....Anyways last time we had met my company had delta and it had been stormy partings .. i was hurt .hurt bad ..took me almost two weeks to recover ...However that was all of three years ago and then last week i suddenly receive this call asking me if we could set up a meeting around 12:30 ...To confess i was not thrilled but i instantly experienced this funny tingling sensation in my teeth and i thought "well why not! " So i said Yes. ...I walk into the office and words like swank plush jumped in and out of my head ..anyways I was punctual.. and her secretary comes into say "Yeah she's expecting you, Can i get you something to read? yadaa yada ya " ...I lounge comfortably in the chair and she walks in , majestic as ever..."No NO ..Dont get up" , she smiled. ...I flashed out at her ,the smile i mean ..."AAh , I see you have been practising" ...I'm pathetic ..its so easy for these perceptive types to burst my bubble ..."Are you still using delta" ...I have the most forlorn look on my face as i say "Do we really have to go over that now ? " ...She has this stern expression on her face as she dons her gloves ( Now Now dun get any ideas !! ) ..."Are you comfortable? " ,she asks ..."I am" , i lie ,squriming uncomfortably ,withering under her gaze ..."Metlife" , i mumble under my breath ...The next half an hour is an episode of ER. Instruments ,steely and shiny , poke the innermost regions of my mouth , I get X rays biting on mirrors, banshee howls, and puppy faces hoping for some mercy .. sigh no...And then the defining moment ..."We will have to redo your root canal" ..."But .. "..."Shh, i know what Im doing here" ..."Fine! " I give up ..."You know i sort of like your teeth" , she reflects ..." Err , Hmmm .." ( is this a trick question or what , i think ) ..."They let me experiment..new stuff and all" ..."Gosh ,thats what I am , an oral guinea pig" ...After another half an hour of sermonising i am summarily put on the list to see her again after 2 weeks ...I stagger out of that office with my little goodie bag ( toothbrush , pamphlet -all) ...as the doors close behind me ,there stands the building , unpretentious and even inviting to poor unsuspecting souls who know not of horrors untold that pass behind those

A favor Repaid!

2005-04-09T03:49:00.000-07:00

Hey shortie !! How ya doin today ;) ...Laddies and ladies ...The break well taken and aaaaaaaaaaah !! feel rejuvenated :D ...

However the topic o discussion being U-B shorty...Gawd there was a song abt fools rushing in or something right ?? sigh ..my name my name ... ...Anyways to give context to the discussion ...a long forgotten revolution being nipped in the bud by the hirsutical tendencies of the aforementioned mon ..(annexure A --refer to earlier blogs by UB and Doh --Forests of fanghorn et all , goatie et all ) ...Thees wassan opportunity too good to pass ...as the Count o monte cristo ud "sai"(Jai sai baba !) ( see im reverential even to a spelling mistake ) " SAY in a bated ,tense breath " For weeks i have waited for you to slip ..And now you have" ...Us "Toll" uns have our own crosses to bear! ...As a well known comment pigeonholes us into a human thermometer.. ...And the TDH ..hahahaha .. Nooo !!! Not seriously ..you really dun wanna know what that expands adiabatically into ...Hmmm well now i gotta tax mah brains!! neways towards the end o da blog i shall tink up o sumfin...Incidents you say ??? ...How abt a cousin asking you to morph into a broom so she can clear the cobwebs??Oh that hole at the top of yer head ? i thot it was a vacuum cleaner !! ?? sheesh !! ...What do you say to that ??? i was like ..."yeah you look great in that black dress!" Who's mourning ..ME !...And yes.. to us peepul of ambivalent dimensions(5-11 to 6) ..you know we dun belong !! ...Its like Hmmm that Tshirt is too big and this one flatters mah stom-ache a tad 2 much ...Try sitting in a roller coaster (the Big Shot on the stratosphere ..in vegas ) The free frikking fall is reduced to a joke !! mah feet find the bottom every time .. No free fall for us extended bipeds !! ...and the school time trauma Phew when you'd outgrow your trousers and your folks back home would be like "man this was supposed to be a three year insurance policy" and you'd try and blame it on surf ... ...even freud wudnt ave pretended to be walkin on stilts to impress gurls with his shortened excuse of a trouser ... besides i wudnt even fit on the couch ..sigh ...In short(jeez!! ) In tall ,we got our own saga and yes ..the answer is YES ..it does get lonely at the top !! The wind does seem to target the fields of the tallhorn a square inch more than the stunted blowpipe ... ...aerodynamics i guess!! ...altho the wind seems to blow more outta us ;) the saga of gastronomical trubbles "The winds of change".... oh scorpion where didja bite!! Gross!! ...the point being ...for us toll uns the thinning Top is a reality faster than thee ,, mebbe the blood is lazy or just plain tired in reachin the roots ...after all roots were supposed to follow the rules of gravity.... werent they ???...and to end there was this woman who i had blind dated(Gosh was she pretty!) and we were on different ends of the spectrum.. literally ...Sigh ...at the good night moment i was fervently wishing myself into a flatland moment when the third dimension would not exist and i would just be a rectangle kissin an ellipse goodnight ! ...Wish not for a revolution Gooble !!! wish fer women in short!(all rite you win!!) skimpy dresses! ...Offence !!! ..nun intended :) ...dank ya well ...PS ...TDH = Chinese for a 5'11-1/2" bloke with a myopic view of da universe ;) ............

Kaho na pee hai !

2005-04-09T03:48:00.000-07:00

Hmmm that idyllic ex-o -lo ...that magic werd terd like that shine o soul glue on yer hair ...... i mean its infectious on that "50s " show...

uff what an excursion !! ...a gujju one too !! i mean they were trying to hook me up with a.(dot).patel ...and showing moi her first movie... where scantily clad she ..well absolutely raised a hormonal response ...but neah not an emoshunal one ..She wants to watch a moovee...hmmm godfather mebbe ???? tch tch child you need to get in touch wid yer senses....hmm w...welll ...okay...It was a crisis but yeah an alliance seemed to pale in the shadow of my projected suicide on the 16th floor by a cleaver !!!...bezides the ero.Hri-tica(now now i deserve a lil sumfin on that! ) ... I'd frankly like ta fire 'im !... Know why ?... EEs the reason why the 'ot 'ot wimmen in rain besieged sarees are missin frm the movies ..... i mean HE dances SOOOO nicely ...he's put the vamps outta bidness (as mah bud johri wud say ! ) ...... ...I mean she's clad and she 's focussed on the patel mattel that she needs to sire ! and ....we dive into the pool ..me carried away and she ..wid a purpose ...;pity Im tooo heavy fer her to carry outta the water cos i dunno how to swim !!...Besides why wud i wanna marry a "shining-nighti" ??? ...Id chooose better battlegrounds !! eh heh ! ;) ...takers ...besides anyhwho ? ...; )...PS how do i explain the 5 min trip to the moon (Loo-nat-yic ...et al .. i mean wid dem tittles and all ;)

The lord of the rings!

2005-04-09T03:47:00.000-07:00

The yoke has been overthrown! ...The tyranny shall not last anymore! ...before i gurgle out any more shpiel ..lemme elucidate...

registered mail received by the unfortunate blogger on a rainy night in bangalore! ...Contained imprints of two circular objects within the confines of the obviously parental communication ...with a lot of trepidation the unfortunate blogger proceeds to push the envelope far past its edge and out drop two rings ...shiny objects ..one with a red stone(Munga or mooga or coral or something!) ...and the other one ..greenish (cats eye ...hmm Intriguing !) ...and a teary eyed communication from my concerned folks ..for you see they had been witness in form of documentary I-O-Us (Credit card bills) to my bacchanalian excesses and they thought that the rings would be my protectors against such lavish indulgences ...Oh and did i mention they met my girlfriend too ... ...The letter did me in ..it did ...and i proceeded to wear and display ..conscientiously rotating them ever so often against my fingers to make sure the effect rubbed off ...the fateful day ...i went to livermore to a panditji(DONOT DERIDE! i ..i .. well!) ...Now the reader might wonder what a person or non-person as the case might be LIKE ME needs to do with a priest (as is im saving the next birth for the confessions...they're bound to last that long!) ...however i digress...I noticed with alarm that the stones had grown small and had started making little itty bitty sounds whenever i shook hands with ppl (as if clicking in disapproval ) so thither i went to expeditiously rectify the situation ...The panditji assiduously took my time of birth ,my place of birth and yes my date of birth and proceeded to pore over matters i considered occult and yes view with a great deal of respect ..he huffed and hawed and hummed and then he looks up at me with a confusing look and asks me "DO you know youre manglik! ? " ...Im like " WHAAAAAT??" ...Panic ..rejection ...social ostracism ...doomsday paints itself before my eyes with that wicked red planet donning the brush ...scared with the look of a hunted animal on my face .... ...i stare at him with apprehension and then he tells me ... Your mother wants you to have an arranged marriage ? ...Im like yeah well.....and he's like That my dear boy is the true purpose of these rings, to keep your mars in restraint and to prevent you from getting into a "matrimonial alliance" (those are the words he used!) that is incompatible for you "...i stared at him and i just walked outta there ...paid him of curse ...and came home and in a very elaborate ritual flushed the ringie dingies down the crapper...feel good like Im the master of my own destiny now ...and then when the euphoria has passed i look at myself and wonder if i've exchanged one master for another ...will solve that one another day ;)

Mah poor Khitpit elbow!

2005-04-09T03:45:00.000-07:00

In a time that was not so long ago ..point of fact last week ...i went to see a movie ..somebody's supremacy and went with hi-hopes-to-heaven

tinking i wud enjoy it ...walk in with a glass of coke to stream in regular doses of caffeine just in case i missed franka potente by as much as a blink ...Lo and behold my favorite chairs the ones right up front were still empty ...(up close and personal eh!) ...i was content ..happy even to realise that i had the space to stretch out and comfortably watch the moo-vee ...then in a whirl i was completely flanked by a gentleman and a lady of rather large proportions on either side....as an aside...for people who are the movie going types Im sure you understand how important it is to have your elbows (YES ! both of them) comfortably placed on the armrests and let your shoulders slouch and slide down in your seat..before you can truly begin to understand and appreciate the movie ...anyways this was impossible given the size of these giant elbows that were claiming space on the arm-rests that were rightfully mine ...In vain did i jostle ..I got an inch and refused to yield ..and i would bend down to sip at my coke instead of lifting my arm up to bring it to my mouth ..for i was afraid that this lonesome inch would be lost in battle forever ...ladies and gentlemen i was living a seinfeld moment in a john kennedy toole novel with ignatius and his female alter ego engaging me on all fronts at all times ...But i could not back down ..No sir ..i could not and i did not ..needless to say i did not watch the movie at all ..at all but i held my own .. and i as i left the claustrophobic confines of the cinema hall and let the breeze outside waft through my hair i was struck with a thought ..that made me smile ..drove down to blockbuster ..picked up Godfather .. went home..popped some corn ..and some coke .. lounged in THE CHAIR ..and contentedly watched that classic for the umpteenth time .. as i was saying my elbow is not usually like this ..Circumstances ,Stand up and plead guilty .. or i go to the ..mattresses

Hopey Dopey!

2005-04-09T03:42:00.000-07:00

Here's a lil itty bitty short story that i had sent in to sulekha for publication ..din't make the cut *sigh* on grounds that the ending was too abrupt ..din't feel like changing the ending .....Here goes .........

The little Japanese village was resounding with squeals of delight from the kids who were having a gala time at the merry-go-round and the giant wheel. Spring was in the air and nature had put on its finest spectacle to bewitch the mind of man. Add to this a furious assault of Cupid’s arrows and you get the picture. Couples were heady with the twin delights of romance and fine weather but none more than the couple who were the cynosure of all eyes. Theirs was match equally approved in heaven and on earth and nobody knew it better than them. The shade of the giant tree was all the sanctum they needed.. to share her worries and concerns or to enjoy the mellow sounds of his flute wafting on the fresh spring air. ...Her beauty was unheard of and his zeal and wisdom..well, the village elders stood up and listened when he wished to make a point. Equally unheard of was their devotion to each other- till death do us part” to put it simply....That was when he walked into the village. ...He was strange. There is no denying that. ...He was wealthy too. Gossip concluded that it might have been the wealth of the oh-so-sorry forefathers, which was being squandered away in the name of a bohemian lifestyle....Rumors floated around of a lost love for he was seen dancing distracted..Or drunk.. to the tunes of a popular song ..Alone in his house..Later the sorrowful melody echoed in the still silhouette of his solitude. Sometimes his mournful voice would carry as far as the village well and the women would stop and listen..Their hearts moved in a way unbeknownst to them before. The snow would melt and draw the contours of their hearts as they carried the song back in the fiery waters of their pots....Taking his habituary walk across the meadows.. Finding his usual reprieve from the constant teasing by the village kids he found a nice little spot under the giant tree to take his afternoon siesta. As he lay down to sleep taking in the sights and sounds he was disturbed by a gentle sound. He walked around the tree to see his silent accuser. He was surprised to see a thick rope lying on the ground tied into a noose.. and Her .....He asked her gently what the matter was. She looked up and was quite scared to see the village “madman” peering down at her. His kind voice prompted some bravado however and as she stood up to speak a letter clutched in her hands fell down and he bent down to pick it up for her. She said nonchalantly, “Read that and you’ll know” pointing at the rope on the ground. The letter was one of furious rejection from a man who felt his righteousness betrayed, accused her of wanton promiscuity leading to her present state .. Indignation rejecting the idea that his brother was responsible for an act of unspeakable bestiality....“I’m cursed and I have decided to end my life at the place which bears testimony to the happiest times I’ve had”, she said....He laughed out loud on hearing this. She was shocked. It was not mockery or accusation she heard in the ring of his laughter.. It was sorrow. ...“You think it’s easy to die?” he asked scornfully....He walked away from her and she stood there, undecided …...It was a strange wedding too, the first of a sort. None of the priests had agreed to officiate. The story reached the ears of the head priest of the village and he set out to counsel the man as he lay on his deathbed....“Why do you want to destroy the life of this young woman who had a bright future until she was smitten by you? “ the head priest said. ...“Release her from your spell, I implore you”, the head priest pleaded....His silence prompted her to speak ...She stood up from his bedside and told the priest about the whole incident and how the stranger had asked for her hand in marriage and how he told her that she would be doing him an invaluable service by accepting....The head priest agreed to perform the wedding since he now thought that it was probably the best course for her and the only chance at legitimacy that the unborn child would ever have. ...The wedding was a maudlin affair the bride’s parents weeping at the twin sorrow of losing a daughter and son-in-law at the same time....Add to this the insistence of the stranger that she wear a bridal dress cut out of this worn out fabric that he possessed. It was woefully out of fashion and conveyed a sense of lost time. She seemed to like it however as she wore it tall –honor, dignity and grace plentiful in its folds....“My daughter is to be a bride and a widow at the same time”, the mother wailed as she bid her farewell....The stranger handed her a small tin box as he breathed his last in her arms ...“ For OUR child. Open it when it cries for the first time and you’ll know” ...The sun shone brightly as the cries of a newborn baby pervaded the air. She held her child and was surprised to see a birthmark on the right side of the baby’s torso. She called for the nurse to bring the tin box and opened it....The box contained some silver coins marked with the figurehead of Pontius Pilate and a letter....The letter to his newborn child read, ...“You are the manifestation of the greatest love that man has known. Call it God saving the honor of a woman as it got traded between brothers or God forgiving the curse of eternal human condition to a man whose betrayal has echoed through the centuries on an act of pure and unconditional love. You were born of faith and hope and betrayal. You are cursed too .. with love. As you weave the tapestry of your life your heart will cry at every drop of blood shed in hate and yet you’ll live telling this story. “...I grew up healthy. Society chose to call me by various names and my only defense was the name the stranger bequeathed me. ...I went on with life and nothing but the solitude of my existence and the loneliness of my curse stayed with me ..I found love in the arms of a solitary soul,the passion of a nameless night crucifying me with visions of happiness that would never come to pass. Just as I wished fervently for that moment to last forever... the Fat man and the Little boy struck .. the brightness eclipsing a thousand suns .. it seemed that man had succeeded in creating a monster who would finally dwarf God and his creation ...I see her pick up her child and try and run from the inevitable and as she falters to the ground …I age a thousand years as I watch her die. ...I live on with the curse as my legacy .. the silver coins ,singing a jingle of hope and a tattered piece of cloth serving to clear my eyes every time the mist gathers.. as I look to the heavens for an answer, I see ..and I find that little miracle of love breathing inside of me as I hope that each of us finds the savior within.......ope y'all enjawyed it !

Ze goatie a patriotic art form ??

2005-04-09T03:40:00.000-07:00

Im "blessed" with the asian curse. ...

neah not the one where I have a natural God given right to the rope trick... besides nobody told them the complete story and somebody conveniently forgot to mention that the ceiling fan was part of the equation. ...but I digress...The particular curse i was referring to the absence of facial hair in that crucial area..the bridge ..the arc .. ah dangerous curves ahead !! should have known what i was getting myself into when a couple of days of laziness actually lit my tubelight and gave me a faint inkling of What was possible around my chin besides a constant and unfailing propensity to attract shoes...Try as i might diligently over the course of the next few weeks it just refused to grow in that area .. ...SO one day (ephiphany!) i look at myself in the mirror and see how i have progressed. Im disappointed of course .. and then i think to myself ..what is this fascination with all things firang .. in the truly unhallowed lands of men's facial fashion ..the french laid claim to the particular art form i was referring to ..and i aspire to be !!! ..french ?? WHY ? join the "legions" of men who had landed in normandy only to proudly display on their facial landscapes' ..the french flag ! NO ..that shall not be my fate ...Chiding over.I decide i shall make this rugged growth my own . I will highlight it with the tricolors and call it the D-G. ...Besides i need a little color to liven things up a bit! ...wars have been fought over less ..helen..land ..money ..oil .. pardon the bin-tughlaq rhetoric ..methinks he is the only candidate who would have taken up the cause during the medieval ages and gone to war with a neighboring fiefdom with a single point agenda of debearding them.....War ..hmm no ...the good thing about life is you live it once and then you dont come back ...the good thing about the DG is ..you can always choose your battle every week !...

Badminton and buddies!!

2005-04-09T03:39:00.000-07:00

S.U.P.W --some useful periods wasted...The saga of the SUPW options in school ..ooo ..such a tuff decision ...should i take up western music ?...should i take up indian music ?...should i take up badminton ?...

should i take up home science? ..err.. no ...took up western music for a week and my teacher informed me that i had no particular talent except for whining that i did not understand "the words" of the angrezi numbers ...took up indian music ..broke a couple of tablas and a couple of tumblers in the bathroom(Yeah i was a powerful singer as my friend so eloquently put it! ) ...then badminton (Yes this I liked !! and was a lil decent at ! anything for an hour of play ) ...me and mah buddy B decided that this was going to be it ...i enjoyed kicking his derierre at the game and then the new age happened...class XI (how pretentious !) and new faces in school ...and someof them played baddy (pun intended!) ...two girls prance upto this gladiator display on the court with shuttlecocks et all and say they want to play ...fine okay !! ...I had never ever lost a game to B till that day and that fateful day OHHH ..when i had to play dubbles with one lady on my team and the other in B's team ... needless to say the fourplay wasnt fun !!! i was losing !! disaster ..unmitigated disaster ..i whined, complained and said i wanted to exchange partners and B the charmin bugger actually bent down on his knees to hand the shuttle cock to his new pardner ...phew ..some people should just be banned theyre bad influenza for the game .. we lost ..i cribbed and was generally sullen throughout and this seems to have left a lasting impression on the better halves of the mixed dubbles .. this lasted throughout my beard growing years (neah never successful!!) ...they hated me .. i think i deserved it ....Through the years every time we meet that game always comes up for discussion and she has never ceased to give me grief about it .. ...Wudnt exchange it for anything though !...everytime i hear a sportsperson say " Oh this game has given me so much " it takes on a whole new meaning ...through this game i met some of the people who have been my best wishers and friends throughout(Yes ! Bi and He and Ni and Di and Dee)..and to think i was stupid enough to whine about losing ... hah ...In baddy ..everyone's a winner :)...

The day i Die!

2005-04-09T03:37:00.000-07:00

And she said you dun have the guts........"cold cold heart...hard dun by you " ...i donot want to count the days that have gone by ... honest i cannot !

...i hurt into every crevice of logical reasoning that i search as to why this had to happen ...and when i hurt i know you do too ...lord how do i say the things ..in retrospect in this plain sheet of paper when my present unravels in front of me ...calls me names ..jealousy .. envy and i could give it a thousand blouches...but truly.. to the memories of those waves that washed our footprints on the beach , and to my first bike ride and i wore a helmet and you did not ..cos ...yeah ..you TRUSTED me .. and where did that go ? ...and to the man who looks inside of me and assembles a collage of the promises i made to her and did not keep ..till the day she said (sigh) he's just a good friend .. a good friend how'll never be more ...i would not !! goddamnit i would not understand ..i was the most important male figure in her life and "hello ..this is (blah) " ....just as vacuous as that ..cannot replace me... a statement cannot replace me .....thats all he was in turn ... of the kaliedoscope ...when his lines crossed mine ...and Dint know was being dealt a hand of poker till .. ...he won!...Im a great actor but my speciality is blah (here's an easy riddle!! :) ) ...its just this ......i cannot see myself...i just cant .. ...into any picture of happiness that i see her in ... ...i dun see myself ..honest to God i DONOT ..is that supposed to ......i donot know ..Im not a nice guy but i know i can cry too ! when i see her cryin .. on her first baby ..on her first house,.. on her first nursery .. on her first prof success ... i dun see myself ......so many things ... i dun see myself in ....except in that song I wrote and sang to her a ...time time ..... ago ......he sees her money ...he sees his greed ...he sees himself ..calls himself jesus ...she loves him he pretends to ...till the days they turn ...green and blue ...In the eyes of the rolling dime ...call it fair call it mine...the spins fair the spins time ...he minds her honey ...he sees his breed...talkin abt that ..groupie girl ...she sings and he hurts gee...till the days they turn ...green and blue ...In the eyes of the rolling dime ...call it fair call it mine...the spins fair the spins time...and when it hurts no more ...lie lie to her ...toss that coin to the shore ...that gurl she's my head ...and the tails to yore ...till the days they turn ...green and blue ...In the eyes of the rolling dime ...call it fair call it mine...the spins fair the spins time......honest to God i had a good tune for this ......... tch tch was long time ago ...what are these memories doing ? haunting my present and all that ... the spin's fair after all ....the spin's time

The caveman Speaketh!

2005-04-09T03:34:00.000-07:00

"Damn that's my voice ! " ...Thats what the caveman must have first felt when he heard the echo (well if he had a basic grounding in physics anyways!). .mostly scared too....That's exactly the feeling i have when i dread that a printed reproduction of what i jot down here today will appear before my eyes ..DOH ..what a thought ! ...I wish i could write about sex,drugs and rock 'n' roll but neah its a regular life ..disappointed ??

...I've been meaning to write this for quite a while but you know one thing crops up then another ..phew. Sometimes i really think we're so much better off without technology ..and THEN i go and see Speedermann. ...actually YES ..saw the most wicked stream of movies today ...speedermann ...fahrenheit ...the missing ...austin powers too ...was fun! ...Next agenda in life is to kick everybody's ass in a game of foosball tomorrow ..you know you should try this game ..for the uninitiated ..this is the game that the blokes from Friends (..tch i forget their names ..oh yeah Seinfeld and Kramer !) used to play all the time on a table sort of a thingie you know .. ...and yes finish reading that japanese book of short stories .....Yeah Yeah you figure I'm a procrastinator ..OKAY its a tiny confession ..but but judge me not yet ..I AM THE BEST PROCRASTINATOR there ever was ...I've been getting hate mail too ..lots of it actually ..never got one before this ..figured i was the regular nice guy ..give none too many ppl none too much to complain about ..but recent events have made me think otherwise .. so i look myself in the mirror everyday in a new light ...that reminds me ..my bathroom needs new lights ..Eureka ! ..so thats why the shaving nicks ..my face was a bloody battlefield today! ...Yeah i get my share of chinese torture everyday in the morning :( ...Hmm..where was I ? ..sorry not to sound to presumptious ..where was i? ...right hate mail! .....so I've been kinda rediscovering myself over the past few weeks and although most ppl ..nice ones that is ..would plain feel like crap when such things are said about them ..i have decided to take it as a journey .....a journey to discover who I am ..a nice guy ..a bad guy .. a menace..a scourge to society ..i don't know ..but i sure as hell mean to find out ...Only hope to God I'm not too late! ... Interested ?

Ouch baby ! ..very Ouch

2005-01-02T04:21:00.000-08:00

The new year resolution that's been waiting to make itself
its like babies that make themselves ..and gosh you'd think a man and a woman were needed ..haha ...poor unsuspecting you !
neways it was an idea that generated in my poor i-dull brain..pardon the slang ..

the bottom line being
"What if McMurphy was actually a woman ?"
Ahuh "A deep sigh of relief" , "everything is now in order" , "GodDamn that explains everything! "
the respective counts ,the eavesdropper says are " -22 -20 43"
"You got the last one wrong" ,Yoss beams joyfully
"I did not " ,"You did too " ,I did(tired fingers ... you get the picture! )
McCurrie (In case you're wondering)
/* The transition from Bipeds to wool producing quadrupeds was the product of a giant meteorite accident. It happened in 1998 when a giant communion amongst bipeds was being held at the Kumbha mela ( circa infinity !+ ) .. it was a lost cause ..the moment the nurse uttered the words " a ship on the horizon " , an unimaginable series of events dilletanted with each other until all of them reached a quorum that the best possible solution was a flock of the aforementioned abominable .. they decided "Sheep" would be an insider joke ..one of them would be the same as eleven of them ..presto the same as twelve of them .. they would all be "sheep" ...the meteorite meanwhile decided that it was just eye candy and decided to strut its cute butt (Ach Yes the sheep were genderised) all the way to Orion */
Ach yes McCurrie was the lone byproduct of a golden triage ... you know what i mean don't you ?
She was the product of the heimlich manouver , the chinese checkers , and the twins ..( Oh yes i can hear the snigger ... and pray tell ... the greek twins were they ? ... Psst ..its time i tell you about IT! )
/* The "chickens' guide to the soup" is the single most ignored book in the whole of the universe as described in the book whose cover is inscribed with the werds "Don't Panic " ..Funny thing is the CGTtS cover was inscribed with the words "Angel Soft"
For although being privy to almost None of the answers to the Qs that are out there the CGttS faltered on a trick Question "Why Did the chicken cross the road ?" , the chicken did the Pixar thingie reared its non existent red whatever-its-called and proceeded to hide with its two snubby webbed PEDS to cover its unowhats ...the point being that the chicken was color-blind and that its "imagination unlimited" (copyrited) actually thought that the rainbow had been slain and lay in all its glory on the road..and at that particular point in time the chicken decided the answer to the Question lay in a series of unforgivable gastronomic disasters involving a cook who was playing checkers with his nose(the name curious reader being Third hung Lo (left three footprints) ) and a particularly large individual named Bubba WHO was enamored with THlo and decided to give him the heimlich manouver at a particularly inopportune moment ..being.. when the cook had decided to make the most beautiful omelette in the universe out of the twin eggs laid by the rooster at the beginning of the new millenia ...allrite ..1998 ! Its not very accurate!!! .. go read playboy for dates!! */
Voila!! the chicken emerged ..from its grand dinner at the THLo's (the joint was really quite swanky you know and featured a show known to the ol' timers as the " End of the D )
and was asked by a magic carpet ,which actually Stopped at a Stop Sign ,as to why the chicken crossed the road and the answer, well ...you've probably guessed it by now was ..."Angel Soft" inscribed in large curvy letters across a 12/15 pack of quilted paper easily folded and a perfect cover for the two little round shiny objects that emerged out of the Chicken's derriere ... you see the chicken was prepared for diarhhoea but not pregnancy !! it was a calamity ...Angel soft can be very inadequate in such circumstances ...and the chicken found religion immediately in the aftermath of the delivery (Yes this was a to-go ! ) The chicken called itself Marry and promptly proceeded to name the larger one "Neo" thereby condemning it to a life in hollywood and named , fondly if i may add, McDonalds, the other one, the slighter one ...this being done, the chicken promptly found itself a berth on THLo's ship back home to calcutta ! (Ohhh Didn't you know ? the world's best chinese food is found in calcutta!) THLo did the unimaginable however .... poked his nose into a game of checkers and dictated a book while he absentmindedly proceeded to stew Marry in a broth commonly known as eggflower soup ... after he was done (Finishing the soup! in any case) he proceeded to name the book CGttS, and in a fit of remorse castrated himself thereby leaving just two footprints in the sands of time ! This supreme sacrifice was not lost on Marry as she was being digested in THLo bowels and she proceeded to say a prayer which would result in mcdonalds finding his/her true identity
(From a heimlich /chinese checkers/twins... there can be but one conclusion IRISH! (or scottish ))
and promptly causing ex- THLo great bouts of diarhhoea and again requiring enormous quantities of Angelsoft (Which BTW prompted him to put it on the cover ...It was HIS book after all)
The book is now introduced... and there is more to follow .... if your patience can stand any more abuse !

!+ circa infinity --- is a revenge of sorts on the M ppl (mathematicians .shhh !!) who tried to explain the rotundity of McCurrie's Mind and Body and BODICE (can you imagine !! sheesh!) through equations !!!! containing symbols very round and Rotund if i may ....very underhanded ! and very sly ! ... the assolum will not stand this sort of behavior .... stand up and be counted i say even if it be twice (if youre male and standing upside down !!)
meanwhile i look to the lunar eclipse for inspiration for part two ....nurse jadeebooty helps me along !!

PPS ....ladees and gennulmen pardon the french ! dint tink this would be complete without the innuendoes !! cheers and HNY !! to all of yawl !!

Muavazey - the opening weekend

2004-11-17T01:33:00.000-08:00

Its Done..the curtain has risen
the last weekend was the opening weekend of my third play with naatak "Muavazey"
The lasting image in my mind -an image of the entire "muavazey" team holding hands bowing to an appreciative audience ....

"Audition calls for naatak's nth production" the email headline screamed
"Should I , Shouldn't I ? "
"Idiotta What a stupid Question"
So ,sure enough on a languid saturday afternoon , i find myself at the naatak auditions for the third time
"Wow , A lot of the old timers here!"
PC my hellos to the familiar faces and get seated in a group of 40-50 people
Do my bit , and watch the other actors do their parts, amazed at the versatility of some actors.
I do the nail biting thing and hear my name being called out, manage to keep a straight face ..
"Listen to the director " , i say to myself as i struggle to focus
dialogues/motions staring at me like a double headed hydra ..the task before me..to separate these conjoined twins ..give each a life of its own and yet make them sing in a harmony that resonates with the audience
Goofups galore ..when Gen sa'ab says "bastiwalon ka roop badal denge " instead of
"basti ka roop badal denge" and when I rush in saying "Sir Sir " but forget the remainder of my dialogue
I end up exhausted at the end of every rehearsal ,as i am sure the others did too
most of us had to portray multiple roles ..me,myself , and yours truly Doh had to do three ...trying to imagine out and live for a space of two hours what those individuals would do in the given situations.
Saturday ICC milpitas -Opening day
Jittery and nervous would probably be the right way to describe the average temperature of the ward
two hours pass by in a whirl
Murphy happened ...the phone-ring contraption that had been rigged up bailed out midway ..Kudos commisioner sahab for the kewl ...
scan the audience for familiar faces ..find many ..thank them for coming
get a lot of grief and geese for my manglu act.. the manglu act involved ,besides other things, appearing in front of a hundred and fifty people in a banian and a chaddi( Yes the dhari waala ,complete with naada et all)
Next week we take our act to san francisco and berkeley ..damn excited
naatak has never done a play there, should be fun ..
well that's that
in my own little way, I feel like part of the big picture when i act
That picture(Michaelangelo i think) ... On the ceilings of one of the hallowed cathedrals ..when God touched Man with his fingertip
Nothing so grand as God in my case ..
But ever so often that act of living somebody else's life,fleetingly though ,helps me empathise ..that's the spark ..when two lives collide .. for a tiny ethereal second opening that window , offering a glimpse into each others's existence ,real or imaginary ... leaves me happy or sad .. or grateful or dissatisfied .. reminding me I'm human in my proud moments ..and yes That Im Human at my low points too..

a loud stentorian voice
"ACTORS ARE DELUSIONAL!"