Women are from bras and men are from ...well !

A repost of my first ever post!


“Next time I produce a movie, I'll make sure you get a part,” she said and winked, naughtily, if I may add.

“And may I be impertinent enough to ask what that part might be?” I said with an overdose of sarcasm.

“A dead body!” she said.


Gosh, I thought to myself, I can't believe I fell for that again!

But that's the way it is, me the uninteresting bloke and she is… (explain said the guidelines, so the tense is present in case you thought the species was extinct) the effervescent spirit.

(Psst… what's that I hear? Hmm, you want to know the name!)

Well then, on popular demand:

“The name is ….(oops the ellipse is rather prolonged in its axis!)”

“Women are from bras and men are from Penus.”

“Hawr, Hawr” (No, it is in fact a female of the boo-hooman race, and yes, they can sometimes surprise you with the sound of what they call 'laughter'.)

“r”

“H”

“E”

“A”

And in case, gentle reader, you're lost, that's the name -- she always wrote it like that.

“Will you marry me?” she asked.

No, I thought to myself, I'm not falling for that again.

“Will you marry me?” she asked again.

(Enter JhunJhunwala, The sad music man)

When the day is small a lot smaller…than the night
And all you have is the darkness
Like the summer that never was to be
Watching the stars that twinkle from afar
Unlike the twinkle in your eyes
As the dreams drop by
Carrying a piece of your heart every time


“Sa'ab, mem saab ko bolo ki joke is no longer joke for you,” JhunJhunwala says.

Another swig of the famous preparation and I crush JhunJhunwala out of my head.

I smile and say, “For the two years that I've known you, I've asked you that and you have always asked me to go look for my Siamese twin. Then why this suddenly?”

“I don't know… I just felt like Romeo today instead of Juliet,” she said.

“Well, as long as it's a day-long affliction!”

“No, seriously. You haven't seen me, don't know what I look like, haven't ever met me, blah blah blah…” she said.

“Would you still marry me?” she asked.

(In case this sounds like one of those oh-so-famous chat transcripts… your worst fears have indeed come true, just a tad more animated.)

(Ting Ting Ting)

Boy, she's persistent, I thought.

“I don't know. No one's ever said that to me before,” I said.

“Oh, c'mon. If you don't come up with something more original than that…” she says

“Nah, really!”

(Ting Ting Ting)

Man, you're such a sucker, you fall for that every time… after all this time! I think to myself.

“You're such a gorgeous woman. Why would you want to be with such a normal bloke like me?” I ask.

“Normal. Hello?? That's why!” she said.

Oh-So-Good.

Just as I'm levitating…

(Enter Mr. Reality)

Dude, she's using you.
She faking love
Just like them others
Who wants you ooooo
For your money
Trrgh trrgh crrrgh Stop Stop It doesn't even rhyme


(Exit Mr. Reality -- you gotta get beat, dude! And I'm broke.)

(Ting Ting Ting)

“Hey, are you there?” she asks.

I wake myself out of my reverie and say, “Yes.”

“So, then?” she asks, “Will you marry me?”

Ask her and say it… it's for the best! Someone tells me.

“So what about that guy you said was interesting (and really cute) and you went out to lunch with a gazillion times!”

(Oh-by-the-long-lost-way I'm not good at role-playing)

(Mr. jealousy makes an entrance and a quiet not-so-musical exit here)

“Oh, that guy,” she says.

(At least that's how I hear it!)

“Yeah, that guy,” I say.

Brace yourself for the worst, I think to myself.

“Hmmm, now you're acting like you really know me!” she says.

I can't stand this role-playing (Ting Ting Ting) any longer.

“Of course I know you. Of course, you're my wife of two years. God knows it's been a great journey so far, and all I think of now is that maybe it's not been the same for you!” I burst out.

“That's so sweet. You're jealous!!” she said.

“Grrrrrr.”

(Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting)

“Nahin, jaan (No, my dear) this ain't working out now, is it?!” she says.

“No, I guess it isn't,” I say.

How can you expect it to when I'm chatting with my wife sitting in the next room! That counselor must have been crazy (or brilliant… whatever.)

“You know I love you?” she says.

I don't utter a word.

“So will you marry me?”

(A great Danish pause)

What the heck, it's the season all over again!

“Yes, I'll marry you,” I say. “I will, I will over and over again even if I have to undergo this a thousand times.”

So gentle reader, if it may please you, pass not this chronicle of domestic unrest to others; and as a species, remember it is not even important what Mr. Perfect's name is… we just want to be cuddled…(I wish i could change this PAPA BEAR sentence..but then NO! artistic integrity :) ) and yes, if you want that shrink's address, e-mail me.

(Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting) (Ringing furiously here!)

Can't stand it any longer!

I get up, open the door and let Love and rHEA make their entrance… (Yet again) and we silently renew our marriage vows and let Mr. Love do the talking.

(Shhh… Thanks again, but I don't really need a song here.)